Spiffy Symphonia
by Angelglory
Summary: Basically, the ToS heroes get into all sorts of hijinx that I can think up. CONTAINS END OF GAME SPOILERS! Rated PG13 for certain scenes refering to certain things. CHAPTER 8 IS FINALLY UP!
1. The Wubulous Washtub Race!

**Author's Note: I came up with an idea when I was playing through Tales of Symphonia my third time. I got to the washtub part at Thoda Dock and just thought, "Holy crap! Washtub races!" But that's only for the first chapter. More randomness will ensue.... in other chapters...eventually.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia.**

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Chapter 1: The Wubulous Washtub Race! ((A.k.a. Raine's Sea Bound "Sickness"))

It was a happy-go-lucky day in Sylvarant and the sun was shining and other mindless overly happy things, aside from Colette, ran around singing songs of overrated joy. Anyway, today was special, there was a special event being held at Thoda Dock....

"A WASHTUB RACE! I'LL TAKE PART IN NO SUCH THING!" Raine yelled in surprise and fear of water.

"Oh come on, Raine! We're already here so we're gonna participate!" Genis argued.

"Wow, I guess it _was_ a good idea to tie her up before telling her that, huh?" Lloyd commented to Genis.

Raine was tied up to prevent laying the smack down on Genis and Lloyd. Zelos, being the narcissist that he is, took this opportunity to _attempt_ to put the moves on Raine. ((Oh, this should be good.))

"Hey there, my Glamorous Beauty, you're looking especially beautiful today." he said, with a wink.

Raine's eye twitched. "Just because I'm tied up like this, doesn't mean I'll fall for you." she replied.

"Oooooh.... you're so cruel. Why do you crush my fantasies?" Zelos whined.

"Fool." Kratos scoffed under his breath, as he appeared out of nowhere.

"Kratos? I thought you went into space with Derris-Kharlan." Colette said, halting her songs of overrated joy for a moment.

"I'm on vacation...Give me a break." Kratos responded.

"..............I'm sorry. Well anyway, come on everyone, it's almost time for the race." Colette squealed cheerfully, skipping off towards to her washtub.

Just then, Regal rowed over in his own washtub. A washtub, which was a little too small for a man of Regal's size. He climbed out proudly and struck a really cheesy pose.

"What's with the weird washtub, Regal?" Sheena asked confusedly.

"This is the 'Australian'!" Regal announced.

"...The 'Australian'?" Genis asked.

"Yes, it's the result of using my company's money to make this year's Washtub Race winning tub." Regal explained. "None shall compete against the 'Australian' and survive!" he boasted.

Lloyd immediately went into his "Trying to be smart, but failing miserably" mode.

"Oh, you think so? It's not me will do the winning; it's you who'll win! Ha ha!" Lloyd boasted.

"Fair enough." Regal said, jumping back into his to washtub. Which in turn, caused it to topple over, tossing him into the water. He swiftly got back into his tub and rowed away.

"You saw nothing!" he shouted.

Anyway, skipping ahead some, everyone, including the other participants that don't matter at all, had gotten into their washtubs. Well, everyone besides Lloyd, Zelos and Raine.

"Come on, Professor, the race is about to start." Lloyd said.

"No. I'm not getting into that rickety old washtub." Raine announced.

"You can ride with me, Raine." Zelos remarked.

Raine shuddered a little then spoke up. "I'd rather ride with Lloyd. He needs the moral support, anyhow." she claimed.

"Dwha?" Lloyd looked confused.

Let's go to the tape! ((ala flashback))

-------------------------------------Flashback

Rewinding waaaaaaay back to Raine's first day as a schoolteacher in Iselia. Here we go...

Lloyd stood near the back of the room, holding two buckets of water.

"Lloyd, What is two plus two?" Raine asked.

Lloyd's eyes bugged out of his head and he screamed like a little child. "Ahhhhhhh! I need an adult!" he cried, huddling into the corner in the back of the classroom.

-------------------------------------End Flashback

"Oh wait, that was actually last week." Raine exclaimed.

Lloyd scratched the back of his head and let out a nervous laugh. "Well, if you insist, Professor, you can ride in my washtub." he said.

"What?! I never said I was going to participate! I was just saying that to make a point!" Raine yelled.

"Oh, too late now, Raine. Here, let me escort you to your vessel." Zelos said, all fancy like.

Zelos hoisted the tied up Raine over his shoulder and carried her over to Lloyd's washtub. "Here ya go!" He said, patting Raine on the behind and putting her into the tub.

Oh yeah, that's right, you read that right. Zelos actually patted Raine on the ass. Oh, the pain that's to come will be so much fun to watch, but that's for later.

"Zelos! When I get untied, you're mine!" Raine yelled angrily.

"Oh yeah, that's what I like to hear." Zelos responded, imagining a different meaning to Raine's words.

Lloyd cautiously climbed into the tub and grabbed the paddle.

"Everybody ready? Go!!!" shouted the race starter...guy.

And so, the race began. All of the other participants, the ones that don't have any significance at all in this story, suddenly explode. Which left the seven washtubs piloted by the Tales of Symphonia heroes. Regal took the lead with the 'Australian' followed by Presea, who was actually sitting on her overturned washtub.

"I feel much safer like this." Presea commented.

'Kay...Anyway, Sheena felt the need to cheat, so she summoned Undine to help _nudge_ her tub along the water.

"Maw ha ha...no one can outrace a ninja." Sheena boasted as she began gradually passing Regal in his 'Australian'.

"Fattening foods!" Regal yelled, throwing a bunch of, well, fattening foods at Sheena.

Sheena screamed as she was pelted with the fatty but very good tasting food. She fell out of her boat, thus she was kicked out of the race. Regal laughed triumphantly as he passed the soggy Sheena. Presea steadily floated by on her tub, wearing her Klonoa hat. She was followed closely by Kratos and Colette's tub. Kratos was using his angel wings to propel the tub forward while he lounged back and enjoyed the ocean breeze. Colette on the other hand, off in her own little world, was happily swatting at the fishes swimming by. Sheena quietly swam over to Colette and Kratos' tub and jumped in all ninja-like and stuff.

"You're cheating, Sheena." Kratos said with his eyes closed.

"No no no, I'm just joining your...._ tub team_." Sheena corrected.

"Yay! I caught a fishy! X3 " Colette squealed gleefully.

"..."

"Sit back and relax. It's gonna be a long race." Kratos sighed and resumed his catnap.

Sheena grumbled under her breath. "I should've joined up with Presea."

At Genis' tub, which was big enough that he could just barely see over the top of the tub, everything was smooth sailing. Regardless of having to row next to Zelos' tub and having to listen to his stories.

"Oh man, that was one crazy night, I tell you." Zelos rambled on.

"Yeah sure, whatever." Genis replied, trying to stay awake.

"SO... what about you?" Zelos asked.

"What?" Genis asked, confused.

"You have any crazy stories? Come on, you gotta at least have one." Zelos nagged.

Genis looked around to see if Lloyd and Raine's tub was in sight. All clear! "Raine told me never to tell anyone about this for some reason, especially you, but as long as you don't say anything I guess it's okay." Genis remarked.

Zelos became instantly interested. "Oh? Do tell.... I love hearing secrets that I shouldn't be hearing." he claimed, making shifty eyes afterwards.

"Ok, a few weeks ago...Raine taught me how to wrestle." Genis announced.

"..."

"That's it?" Zelos asked, disappointed.

"Yep, that's all. I don't know what the big deal is anyway." Genis said.

"Well, that's a real let down. I thought it'd give me something to thi--" Zelos stopped talking and his jaw immediately dropped. He got it now.

He looked at Genis with an angry expression on his face. "You magnificent bastard........." he said before rowing ahead vigorously.

Genis just blinked in confusion as Zelos very very very very slowly advanced. I mean, he was going pretty slowly. Genis wasn't even rowing and he still passed Zelos. Meanwhile, at Lloyd and Raine's washtub, Lloyd watched Raine as she looked at him constantly.

"Is something wrong, Professor Sage?" Lloyd asked nervously. "You've been staring at me for the past hour."

"You've grown up, Lloyd." was her only reply.

Lloyd blinked in utter confusion. "What? What're you talking about? Are you sea sick or something?" He asked, slightly blushing at Raine's odd stares.

Raine suddenly looked shocked as she pointed behind Lloyd. "Lloyd, look, AIR!" She shouted.

Lloyd, being the doofus that he is, turned to look. "What?! Where?! I can't see it!" He shouted. ((- -;;))

Raine kicked Lloyd overboard in a "Sarcastic Oops" fashion. "Woops." ((And yes, she's untied now.)) Lloyd went hurdling into the freezing cold water. He frantically climbed back into the washtub as fast as he had fallen out.

"C-Cold, very cold." Lloyd mumbled over and over as he shivered on the tub floor.

Raine just stared down at Lloyd for a few moments. Then she looked out across the ocean to see if anyone or, more importantly, Zelos was nearby. All clear! It seems as if Raine's maternal instincts were suddenly revved up or whatever, because she immediately pulled Lloyd's shivering body into a tight hug.

"Aww, poor Lloyd." She exclaimed.

"P-Professor, are you feeling alright?" Lloyd asked, in between shivering.

"Whenever I'm out at sea, I feel... um... let's say, 'clingy'." Raine responded, with a freaky smile.

"Professor Sage, you're making me feel funny." Lloyd complained, struggling to break free of Raine's clutches.

"Shh, everything's alright." Raine said, shushing Lloyd. ((Wow, this is freaking me out even as I type it.))

"H-Hey, I'm not a little kid! I-I'm all grown up!" Lloyd said, protesting/whining.

"Be quiet or there'll be no PE for you." Raine said sternly.

Lloyd's whole school life revolved around PE, Art and Lunchtime. The thought of missing one of those subjects crushed him. He whined, on the verge of crying like a little kid, and gave in to Raine's mother-like wrath.

"I-I'll be good." Lloyd mumbled.

"If you're good, I'll teach you how to wrestle." Raine remarked.

Lloyd's eyes bugged out of his head. "O.O;;" ((Yeah, like that.))

((I'll stop tying now! We'll have to explore this in the next chapter when we bring up the issue of "Affection levels"!))

Skipping ahead some more, the finish line was close. Somehow, Presea was still right behind Regal's "Australian" and she hasn't rowed once throughout the entire race. Maybe it's her Klonoa hat.

"Everything is better with a hat." Presea commented. ((So true.))

Colette had gone on an apologizing spree after she dropped her caught fishy in the tub.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!!!!!!!!" Colette squealed!

"Losing... cool demeanor... urge to kill...rising..." Kratos mumbled, while his eye twitched.

"Ah! I caught another fishy! X3 Hi, Mr. fishy! I'll call you Pooki! :3" Colette squealed again.

Dull silence... followed by...

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE! DIE!" Kratos yelled, grabbing Colette and throwing her over the side of the tub.

Colette somehow redirected herself in midair and crushed into Regal, causing him to fall out of his washtub.

"NoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo!" Regal yelled as he went hurdling into the ocean.

Where was Sheena during all of this? She was swimming to the shore, in hopes of retaining her sanity, unlike Kratos.

Presea ended up crossing the finish line first, followed by the mentally disturbed Kratos. Genis finished next and a little while after, Zelos finished as well. Lloyd and Raine's washtub finally finished after awhile of just floating around in circles.

Everyone had already gotten out of his or her tubs as Raine climbed out of her tub with Lloyd strung over her shoulder, like Zelos had Raine before the race. Lloyd, tied up like Raine was before, was sound asleep.

"What's with Lloyd?" Genis asked, as he pointed to the sleeping swordsman.

"What do you mean? There's nothing wrong with him at all. He's just tired." Raine claimed.

Zelos poked Lloyd's face. "Hmm, he looks pretty worn out. What happened?" He asked, suspiciously.

"…"

"I SAID HE'S JUST TIRED!" Raine yelled angrily

Zelos hid behind Genis, scared out of his wits.

"- -;;"

"Why're you hiding behind me? I'm smaller than you." He asked, pushing Zelos away.

"But Raine enjoys beating you more than she does me." Zelos pointed out.

Genis sighed. "You're right, sadly enough."

"Here's this year's Washtub Race winner, Presea." said the race starter... guy. "Here's an over-sized trophy."

"Wahoo." Prese said monotoned, clad in her Klonoa costume while holding her trophy which was ridiculously bigger than she was.

"And Regal, for coming in last place, you get this." the announcer dude said.

Regal recieved a small card which said, "You came in last? YOU SUCK!" Regal's eye twitched. He crumpled up the card and threw it at... THE AUTHOR?!

HEY! How dare you! SMITE'D!

Regal suddenly turned into a ferret. ((Mwee hee hee hee!))

"Ferret Ferret." ((or whatever sounds ferrets make...)) ferreted Genis.

Genis?! What the crap?! I... guess I missed.

"Wahahahaha!" Regal laughed triumphantly as he ran away. ((I'll get him next chapter...))

Kratos, who seems to have regained his sanity, approached Raine with Zelos right behind. "Go on, ask her. She won't hit you." Zelos said, trying to persuade Kratos to comfront Raine.

Kratos sighed deeply and shook his head. ((He's definately back to normal)) "...Very well. But if she swings once, I'm using you as a shield." He said sharply.

"Likewise." Zelos replied, smirking.

Kratos rolled his eyes and turned to Raine, who still had Lloyd over her shoulder. "Raine, what are you intending to do withLloyd tied up like that?" Kratos asked bluntly.

Raine blinked innocently. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm not absolutely not intending to anything." Raine said, pleading her case.

Kratos raised an eyebrow. "That was a double negative. You're still feeling the effects of your ocean episodes aren't you?" Kratos asked suspiciously.

Raine looked around nervously. "N-No, that's not it." She claimed. "DON'T JUDGE ME!"

Raine picked up Ferret Genis and threw him at Kratos' face. Genis, being the ferret that he is, went ballistic and started mauling Kratos. Raine quickly made a run for it with Lloyd, who was still sound asleep.

Zelos sighed. "Great, now we'll never find her."

Colette randomly appears. "I'm sorry!"

-------------------------------------

**I know: it's weird, disturbing and random. Next Chapter: Affection Testing! R&R please. Thanks. If you flame I ignore you. But if you give a real review I reply to you in the next chapter.**


	2. You Can Test Affection, But It Won't End...

**Author's Note: Like I said last chapter. This chapter's plot will be about the ever-so-influencial "AFFECTION LEVELS!" Bare with me, but since I don't have Word and spell check on my computer, there might be some spelling errors. If someone wants to spell check the chapters for me so there are none, just say so in your review. I'm gonna try and make this chapter better than the first....show me the "disclaimer"!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia or Crocodile Dundee.**

**OH CRAP! I almost forgot to reply to mah reviewers!**

**Ryu Warrior: Wow, I wasn't expecting my fic to be that funny. If you thought Chapter 1 was funny....well, you're right. Cause it was funny. **

**Rednal29: You're right, crazy is funny. ((inaudiable chatter)) ((ahem)) And I still have to get back at Regal! Maw ha ha ha ha!**

**destiny: To answer your question, Presea tipped it over on account that she felt safer with it like that.**

**DragonofDarkness18: I originally was gonna turn Genis into a kitten but I like ferrets better.**

**Koharu-Soma: You gonna love Kratos in this chapter....trust me.**

**The Zelda Master: A logical explaination of what's wrong with Raine is presented in this chapter. And I tell you, it's what I go for everytime I play through ToS.**

**crystaltears: Yes....it is funny....**

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Chapter 2: You Can Test Affection, But It Won't End Well! (( a.k.a. Clinging Fury! ))

It was a happy-go-lucky da--

"Excuse me."

What? Kratos?! How'd you get here?

"I used my ability to appear out of nowhere." said Kratos, who's face was completely wrapped up in a 'face cast' due to Genis' ferret frenzy. "Anyway, you already used that opening."

I, of course, laugh at Kratos' misfortune. I'm sorry man, I just can't keep a straight face when I see Kratos, minus the face.

"Humph..." Kratos leaves.

((OK, let's try that again....))

It was a raining cats and dogs kind of day, except there was no rain. Well, there was Raine. But cats and dogs weren't falling from the sky either. That'd be weird, very very weird. Anyway, after searching for a week for Raine and Lloyd, they finally were found. Then they all returned to Iselia for no real reason aside for.....not having a reason. They all gathered in the school.

The ToS heroes minus Lloyd, who was sleeping in the corner of the room, stared at Raine. She just stared back at them. I think she was still a little loopy, 'cause she was smiling the whole time.

"What the do you think is wrong with her?" Colette asked, concerned for her crazy teacher.

"She was acting like this after the Washtub Race too, right before she made a run for it with Lloyd." Zelos pointed out.

"Is class over?" Lloyd mumbled in his sleep.

"Lloyd has been sleeping since we found them." Presea said, holding a ferret ((Genis)) in her arms.

"Ferret Ferret." ferreted Genis. ((Yeah, he's still a ferret.))

"Ferret Genis is right. We _should_ ask the author." Sheena said.

Regal looked surpised. "The Author?! No, we can't do that." He claimed.

No, no, no, it's no trouble at all. I'm writing this aren't I? Of cousre I am! Oh and that guy named Steve. Say hi, Steve. Hello.

"Hi, Steve." Everyone said, besides Raine, Kratos and Lloyd.

Kratos stepped forward. "What is wrong with Raine?" he asked, trying to avoid anymore sidetracking.

Simple, Plaster Face, she's got a case of D.H.A or "Dangerously High Affection".

Colette, being the ditz that she is, spoke up, "Why are you all talking to the ceiling?"

"- -;;"

Kratos handed Colette a box of crayons. "Here, play with these." He said.

Colette took the crayons and squealed with glee, "X3 Yay!"

She then proceeded to gnaw on one of the crayons while she drawing on Lloyd's face happily.

"No, not homework." Lloyd mumbled.

Okay, guys I'm gonna explain what happened to Raine that made her like Zelos.

"Hey! How's she like me?! I don't kidnap, I seduce. There's no way that Raine's like me at all." Zelos argued.

Three words Zelos.... 'Concept of Wrestling'.

Zelos thought for a second, remembered what Non-Ferret Genis had told him. "Oh, you can't be serious."

I'm serious. When am I _not_ serious? Wait, well, there was that one time....

-------------------Flashback-------------------

And so I says to the guy. Hey! You know what day it is? Tuesday! You get a free toaster!

Kratos has an afro and is wearing disco platform shoes. "That's awesome. I wanna toaster. What is a toaster, anyway?"

I have no idea whatsoever. I proceed to laugh my ass off.

-----------------End Flashback-------------------

"An afro?" Sheena asked.

"Styles change over time....deal with it." Kratos claimed, justifying his afro days, from under his face cast.

"A-Anyway, how do we fix Raine so she isn't creepy anymore?" Sheena asked, changing the subject.

Just lower her affection for Lloyd and she should go back to normal. That's why I prepared this special room. And so, the school just suddenly changed into a sort of police interagation room. The room they were standing in had two stools and the other room had a bunch of comfy seats and a one way window to watch what's going on.

Ok guys, one at a time you'll try and lower Raine's affection for Lloyd.

"So who's going to try first?" Regal asked.

Dull silence...

"How about Genis? He's Raine's brother after all." Zelos recommened.

"You forget that he is still a ferret." Presea pointed out.

"Ferret Ferret!" ferreted Genis.

Sheena nodded. "Yeah, Zelos, if you're such a ladies man than you do it." she said.

Zelos shrugged. "Alright alright, if my sweet voluptuous hunny wants me to, I guess I'll do it." he claimed, sitting on the stool next to Raine.

Everyone else went into the other room with the comfy seats while Zelos attempted to win over Raine. Raine just sat there with that creepy smile on her face. That must be one bewitching smile Raine has because when she turned her attention to Zelos, he went all googly eyed and just sat there staring at her for ten mintues or something.

"Hey Lover Boy! We're not asking you to stare at her, just go for it already!" Sheena yelled, getting sick of watchng the two people have a staring contest.

"I concur." Kratos said.

Unbeknowst to Kratos, but beknowst to us, Colette was drawing a smilie face on Kratos' face cast.

((It looks like this... **:D** ......................Wow.))

Everyone else held back their laughter except for Colette, who was stupid enough to sit down next to Kratos while laughing. You couldn't tell by looking at him, but his sanity was once again plummeting.

"Now you can be happy all of the time, Kratos! X3" Colette squealed.

"Urge to kill....rising....must stop...talking...like Captain Kirk." He thought to himself.

Dull silence....followed by...

"FOR FINLAND!!!!!!!!!" Kratos drew his sword and started blindly, literally, stabbing Colette.

Um, yeah, Kratos? You're stabbing a chair, an EXPENSIVE chair, mind you. Colette would be a bloody corpse by now if she hadn't found a shiny stone and jumped for it.

"No one touches the face! No one! Ever! Touches! Kratos! Face! And... um... and... and lives! Yeah!" Kratos yelled as he looked up at the ceiling, assuming that I must be God or something. I mean, Who's to say that I'm floating around up in the air? Hell, I could be underground, ya know? Or maybe I'm sitting next to you RIGHT NOW as you're reading this! Holy crap, that'd be weird. But, seriously, I'm the author so I'm EVERYWHERE!

This, of course, freaked the hell out of Regal. "Crikey! I can't escape! He's everywhere!!!" he yelled, putting on a 'Crocodile Dundee' hat.

Myeh heh heh heh heh... Anyway, back to Zelos, who had apparently tried all of his best pick-up lines. Raine was looking slightly agrivated as Zelos prepared to try one last time.

"Um, uh, hey Raine, I know why you're acting like this. You're just embarassed about me grabbing you ass, right?" Zelos said, with a wink.

((Oh boy, bad move Zelos... bad move.))

Raine remember that little incident as well. She turned to Zelos quickly and commenced the smack down. I'd put it in detail, but... OUCH! That's gotta hurt the reputation... yeah, it's too horrible. SO, skipping ahead about a half an hour, Zelos finally crawls from the room on the verge of death. But not really, I'm gonna avoid killing off the heroes... yeah, I know, I should've killed Colette but she is the only one that can drive even Kratos insane. Anyway...

"Geez, Zelos, the only thing you accomplished was lowering Raine's affection for you." Sheena grumbled.

"Not funny...." Zelos muttered before dying... I mean, being knocked out cold.

"Well, who should go try next?" Colette asked happily.

Everyone looked at each other... dull silence...

"Since no one else is capable of going in there, Sheena, you shall go." Kratos said, talking to the wall.

"What? I can't do it! I'm a girl!" Sheena protested, about to have a nervous breakdown.

Presea gave Sheena a plushie... of Lloyd. "Calm down, Sheena. Do it for Lloyd." she said, while holding a Genis plushie and Ferret Genis in her arms.

Sheena gnawed on the plushie's hair while looking frantically around the room.

"Now go in there and fix Raine." Kratos exclaimed, facing a different wall this time.

Sheena whined and reluctantly walked into the room with Raine. She sat down on the stool and looked at Raine, frightened. The one mistake she made was that she still had the Lloyd plushie. And since Raine has D.H.A. for Lloyd... well, let's just say, things are gonna get hectic.

"Raine, what're you looking a--" Sheena looked down at the Lloyd plushie. She quickly looked back at Raine. "Raine, no! This is mine! You can't have it! Stay away!" she yelled, about to cry for no reason.

Raine nudged her stool a little closer to Sheena's, and then lunged at her fiercely. They both fell to the floor and started fighting. No punches or kicks were pulled here, folks. And I'm recording every second of it. Heh heh, alriiiiiight.

"Hey there, Angelglory, whatcha watchin'? RAINE AND SHEENA! And you didn't tell me?!" Zelos yelled, suddenly appearing.

Zelos, I don't know how you got here but... w00t! Did you see that?! Wow, this is better than actual wrestling....not the metaphoric wrestling.

"Yeah you got that right. Uh, hey A.G., where _is_ Lloyd anyway?" Zelos said.

O.O **_Oh gad_**, I didn't move Lloyd!

"What do you mean?" Zelos asked, scratching his head.

**He's still in there with Raine and Sheena!!! **Sound the alarms, prank call the hospital, we got a problem here!

As Raine was about to pry the Lloyd plushie from Sheena's hands, Sheena shouted, "WAIT! We can share him! That way everyone is happy... well, mostly us."

Raine stopped pulling and just stared at Sheena for several minutes.

((Meanwhile...))

"What the hell is Raine doing?" Zelos asked, watching Raine. "Well, whatever she's doing, she has a great ass no matter what."

Son of a spoon, Zelos, I did NOT see this coming.

"What?"

Raine's Affection Level for Sheena...it's going up... a lot. Almost as high as Lloyd's.

Zelos spazzed out onto the non-existant floor.

Raine then, after blinking a few times and emitting a overly-happy smile, wrapped her arms around Sheena and hugged her tightly. "AH! What's going on?! Help! Please spare me!" Sheena yelled as she tried to break free of Raine's clinging fury. ((I just noticed that Raine has not said one thing this entire chapter... UNTIL NOW!))

"Awwww, don't be sad, I'll pay attention to you, too, sweetie. I love you and Lloyd equally, I swear." Raine said, happily.

"Nooooo... it's my lunchtime. Please don't take it away." Lloyd whined in his sleep.

Raine sat up, and looked to the corner of the room slowly. There was Lloyd, sleeping like a baby.

"There you are!" Raine exclaimed.

She smiled, hopped off of Sheena and ran over to Lloyd. Sheena immediately grabbed her Lloyd plushie and ran out the door. She closed the door behind her and sighed in relief as she was safe from Raine now.

"Ferret Ferret?!" ferreted Genis.

"Yeah, I'm alright now. Thanks for asking." Sheena said, catching her breath.

"It appears that you suceeded in saving Lloyd by lowering Raine's Affection Level for him." Presea stated.

Sheena gasped in horror, "Oh no! Lloyd! I left him in there!"

"I'll be good! I swear!" Lloyd yelled sleepily from the next room.

O.O;;

-------------------------------------

**Yeah, that just went straight to Hell. I still haven't gotten revenge on Regal!!!! And Genis is still a ferret, but Presea seems to enjoy it so...eh, another chapter of Ferret Genis won't hurt will it? Kratos' pretty face will return next chapter. But, first I have to come up with an idea for chapter 3. This may take awhile.... - -;;**


	3. On The Short Leash

**Author's Note: Ferret Genis is back, Kratos has his face again, Presea gives out some plushies... and what's this? Well, you'll have to find out.....READ DAMN YOU! WHERE'S THAT DISCLAIMER?!!!**

**Disclaimer: ((Thanks))I don't own Tales of Symphonia or Mission Impossible.**

**Time to reply to my reviewers...**

**Koharu-Soma: You were looking forward to this, it's Kratos' face's return! Hata!**

**Kratos Worshipping Tree Hunger: You'll understand the wrestling joke, in time...**

**The Zelda Master: Yes, those diva matches are frightening at times. But very enjoyable all in the same. Alriiiiight...**

**Ryu Warrior: I AM making more....hence Chapter 3.**

**Hurricane Legault: Another chapter of Ferret Genis is abound!**

**U owe me $5: I'm glad you enjoy my fic.**

**Shadow Dark-Blade: Updating now as opposed to sooner...**

**I've got an Idea!XD: Thanks for the suggestion...I just might use that if I run out of ideas!**

**crystaltears: I'm glad you enjoy my fic.**

**Night Wind-chan: Thank you! Yes, the ideas for each chapter are from thoughts about certain aspects in ToS. Well....except this chapter.**

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Chapter 3: On The Short Leash (( a.k.a. Moronic Bliss ))

It was a "Mission Impossible" kinda day. Everyone in Flanoir was humming the Mission Impossible theme while jumping around, acting all secret agent-like. Even the Tales of Symphonia team was in on the fun. I'd really love to see an entire city either playing tag or capture the flag. I guess this is close enough.

"Wa na naaaaaaa... Wa na naaaaaa... Wa na naaaaaa, WA NA!" Zelos hummed, peaking out from behind a building. "Da da da da da da, da da, da da da DA da da, DA DA!" He ran behind a tree.

He looked around covertly, from behind the tree, looking for any allies or enemies. That's when he spotted Kratos, standing out in the open. Zelos chuckled evily as he aimed a snowball at the Cruxis angel. He pulled back and tossed the ball of snowy doom at Kratos.

"BULL'S EYE!" Zelos yelled as the snowball hit his target. "What the...?! A decoy!" He shouted in horror to see that the Kratos he hit was a very life like snowman.

"Indeed." Kratos said, pelting Zelos with a snowball from three feet away. Zelos fell forward into the snow that was convieniently covering some ice.

"Ow! My beautiful face! NoOoOoOoOoOo!!!" Zelos whined as he grabbed his bloody face.

Kratos laughed aloud. "You mess with the bull, you get a face full of snow." he said.

Suddenly, Kratos was beamed in the back of his head by a snowball. He turned to see Regal whistling and looking away.

"How did you hit me if you're handcuffed?" Kratos asked Regal, confusedly.

"With my...feet? Yes, with my feet." Regal answered hesitantly.

Regal was then brutally pummeled with definately more than 1,000 snowballs. It wasn't me I can assure you that....... Alright it was me, my revenge is now complete. Kya ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! And now, insert Sheena into the scene...

BAM! Sheena appears. "Thank you! Raine was clinging to me again. Can't you just fix her yourself?" she asked, looking around in all directions since I'M EVERYWHERE.

As a matter of fact, I just came to an agreement with Raine. I can't guarantee she'll stick to the agreement the entire time though.

"What did you agree on?" Kratos asked, while admiring his own pretty face which isn't in a face cast anymore. ((YAAY!))

I wanted Raine to act normal and stuff. And she'd only do that if.....mumble mumble.... and so I let her.

"What? What's going on?" Zelos said, still face down on the ice patch.

Alright, alright, I'll tell. Raine gets to have Lloyd on a leash in exchange for her acting normal. I still can't say the same thing for you, Sheena. But, since Lloyd woke up though, you should be safe.

Dull silence... "..."

"You used my son as a bargaining chip?!" Kratos asked angrily.

Yes, but don't worry, he doesn't seem to mind at all.

"Oh, well, if that's the case then I guess it's alright for him to be Raine's pet for now." Kratos said, immediately calming down.

Lloyd hopped over to the others. He was followed by Raine, who held the end of the leash attached around Lloyd's neck. He didn't seem to mind at all. He hugged Kratos like an idiot. "Hi Daddy!" he said happily.

Kratos just rolled his eyes and sighed. "Yes, I see you Lloyd." he said half heartedly, patting his leashed son on the head.

Zelos, finally standing up, looked at Lloyd and then immediately at Raine with the leash. He looked back and forth at both of them for a few minutes. He walked over to Lloyd and said quietly enough so Raine wouldn't hear, "Hey Lloyd, do you mind if I switch spots with you?" He was grinning like a moron the whole time.

Lloyd just blinked and then replied, "But I like pretending to be a dog. Colette gave me a biscuit earlier, and it was pretty good! :D"

"You're a real simple-minded guy, Lloyd." Zelos sighed and shook his head.

Just then, Presea walked over, of course, holding Ferret Genis. She also dragged a kind of concession stand behind her. She stopped and walked behind the counter, placing Ferret Genis on it. Presea put up a sign that said, "Plushies for sale."

Myeh heh heh heh heh! That's right, the plushies have returned! Colette fell from the sky the instant Presea had taken her hand off of the sign.

"X3 Eeeeee! I want one! Please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, lemon squares?!!!!" Colette squealed/asked, crawling from the crater she made upon impact with the ground.

"Yes, you may have one." Presea answered politely.

"X3" Colette picked up a Genis plushie. "I want this one!" she squealed.

Presea's eye twitched and she yelled, "NO! HE'S MINE! YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!"

Everyone stopped and stared at Presea. Did she just...express emotion?!

Dull silence...followed by...

Everyone started running around and screaming, everyone except Presea, Colette and Kratos.

"AHH! The world got a game over! NoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo!!!!!!!" Lloyd yelled in a paniciky fashion, before running into a tree.

After awhile, after all of the citizens joined in the screaming as well, everyone calmed down. Well, not really, they still wanted to keep screaming but ya know....sore throats suck.

"Ferret Ferret." ferreted Genis.

"That's a great idea, Ferret Genis! Let's all go back to the inn! X3" Colette squealed.

Everyone nodded in agreement. And so, they all went back to the inn. "Come on, Lloyd. Keep up!" Raine ordered/said with a smile. Lloyd followed behind his leash holder faithfully.

Lloyd finally stood up after colliding with the tree. "Ouchies....my brain itches." he complained. "Hey, where'd everybody go?" he looked around for his friends only to find...AIR!

"Hey! I found the air! Yay!" he yelled happily, as he saw the cold air he was breathing.

Woah, wait a tic...Two Lloyds? This can only be the work of...

Zelos grinned in complete satisfaction as his clever plan worked. "Making a simple switch of the leashes was a perfect idea." he mumbled to himself.

Yes, Raine was now holding a leash attached to Zelos. Geez, he'd do anything to--

"...fulfill a fantasy? Of course! Especially when it's with my Glamourous Beauty!" Zelos whispered gleefully.

Regal, now wet and soggy from being pelted with snow, was walking next to Zelos. "You know what will happen when she finds out you're not Lloyd..." he said.

"Hey, as long as she doesn't look at me, it's all good." Zelos gloated.

"Zelos?! What the hell are you doing?! Where's Lloyd?!" Sheena asked, in a hushed voice, walking next to Regal.

Zelos' expression was filled with a confused look. "Uh oh....I dunno. Where was he last?" he asked.

"I don't recall. I was too busy screaming in fear of Hell freezing over when Presea expressed emotion." Regal stated.

Colette, with Ferret Genis perched on her head, slowed down to the walk along with the other three. "I hope Lloyd's okay." she said, worried.

Kratos joined the crowd. "He's better off away from Raine right now. Maybe seperation will lower Raine's affection level for him." he remarked.

Zelos used that as an excuse. "And thats exactly what I'm trying to do. I'm doing this for Lloyd's sake!" Zelos exclaimed, but not too loud as to distract Raine from her conversation, that doesn't matter to the story at all, with Presea.

"We should at least go and look for Lloyd." Sheena said, thinking aloud.

"Ferret Ferret?" ferreted Genis.

"He's right. We all can't go search for Lloyd. Some of us will have to stay and keep Raine occupied." Regal pointed out.

"Not it!" Kratos, Regal and Ferret Genis scurry off to find Lloyd.

Sheena looked at who she was left with: Zelos and Colette. "Damn you, Author....Damn you." she sighed and kept walking.

Kya ha ha ha ha ha! Fear me! Fear me!........ahem......Anyway, back to the story...

Regal and Kratos, with Ferret Genis sitting on his shoulder, were walking through the snow, which was starting to pick up, looking for Lloyd.

"He couldn't have gotten far...right?" Regal asked.

"Aye, he be too stupid to not get in trouble. Unless, he's tied to a tree or somethin'." Kratos shrugged, acting like a pirate.

"Ferret Ferret." ferreted Genis, acting like Kratos' parret.

Little did they know, Lloyd _was_ tied to a tree. He ran one way around the tree, before the leash pulled back and choked him. He fell over but quickly got back up and started running in the opposite direction. He kept doing that for only Martel knows how long. ((Hehe, reminds me of Gir from Invader Zim.))

"Now the footprints are going this way! I'll find my way back for sure!" Lloyd exclaimed as he started running around the tree again.

Well, at least you're having fun, Lloyd. Meanwhile, back at the inn...

Sheena groaned as she watched Zelos grin like a moron, while Colette distracted Raine. Zelos was staring at Raine's ass again.

"So, where is Lloyd?" Presea asked, sitting across, at a table, from Sheena and Zelos.

"Kratos, Regal and Ferret Genis are looking for him." Sheena replied. "Would you stop staring at Raine?!" she cast a death glare at Zelos.

"But, it's so enchanting. I just want to touch it......again." Zelos thought aloud, gleefully.

Sheena gave out a disgusted sigh and slammed her head onto the table. Presea suddenly sat up in her seat. "Genis isn't here?" she said, before jumping from her seat, down the stairs and out the inn door.

Everyone just looked on in confusion as Presea ran from the room. Sheena looked over and saw Raine turning her gaze towards Zelos. Sheena quickly grabbed Zelos by his long red hair and shoved him under the table.

"Where'd Lloyd go?" Raine asked curiously. Luckily, she was at an angle where she couldn't see Zelos under the table.

"Went to the bathroom!" Sheena quickly answered.

Meanwhile, under the table, Zelos was having the time of his life. "Wow, Sheena, I didn't know you were so frisky." he whispered to himself, before wrapping his arms around and hugging Sheena's legs.

She refrained from kicking the living hell out of Zelos, out of fear that Raine might see Zelos and not Lloyd, which would eventually lead to Raine huggling Sheena. ((Raine! You have Zelos on a leash, not Lloyd! Hug/Cuddle with Sheena! X3 Please?))

"Are you sure? I thought I saw him go under the--" Raine asked, before being interrupted by Sheena.

"Went to the bathroom!" Sheena exclaimed

"But I thought--"

"WENT TO THE BATHROOM!"

Meanwhile, back with Lloyd and the tree, Lloyd had finally stopped running around the tree and was sitting in the snow. After hitting his head on the ground so many times, maybe some sense had finally forced its way into his head.

"The sky has dandruff! X3" Lloyd remarked.

O....kay, I guess he's even stupider now. Sigh...

Just then, a tall woman clad in white and a pale green approached Lloyd. The woman held a winged staff which she used to poke Lloyd, who was still sitting on the ground. Lloyd looked up at the woman with the same kind of expression Colette always has((most of the time)): overly-happy. "Hello, Lloyd." Martel said. ((If you hadn't figured it out by now, it's Martel. No, not Mithos' sister, Martel. The one the protects the Giant Tree, Martel. And why is she in Flanoir? Well, you'll find out....Kya ha ha ha ha!))

"Hi, pretty lady! :3" Lloyd exclaimed, with a kind of "cute as a button" kind of smile.

Martel gave Lloyd a warm smile. "You don't remember who I am, do you?" she asked.

"Uh uh." Lloyd shook his head, still smiling.

"Would you like to accompany me? I'm looking for a 'companion.'" Martel asked, with a welcoming smile.

Lloyd thought for several minutes ((imagine this face **:D** for 7 minutes)) then nodded. "Okay!" he answered, standing up and joyfully following Martel off to where ever, with her holding his leash.

Ironically, Kratos, Ferret Genis and Regal arrived just as Martel and Lloyd walked off. They looked at the snow, which had many imprints of Lloyd's gleeful face in it.

"Well, he _was_ here, I assume." Regal stated.

"Ferret Ferret?" ferreted Genis.

"He's been kidnapped." Kratos said.

"How do you know?" Regal asked.

Kratos hid a script behind his back. "Um......I...don't know..." he answered, looking away.

"Ferret Ferret..." ferreted Genis, shaking his ferret head. ((Translation for once: "I bet he saw something shiny and ran off..."))

Back at the inn, Sheena, Zelos and Colette were trying to hold the closet door closed. Raine had found out about Zelos' "clever trick" when he was stupid enough to huggle her legs instead of Sheena's.

"AH! We're gonna die!" Zelos whined.

"I'm scared!" Colette whined, along with Zelos.

"Open the door, I promise I'll be nice to _you_, Sheena!" Raine yelled, with a sort of errily happy tone, from the other side of the door.

"For the love of Martel, don't open the door!" Sheena yelled at her two idiotic companions.

Zelos grinned. "But I'd like to see that. Heh heh." he said, even though he was still holding the door closed.

Sheena gave Zelos a nice punch in the head. " T-T Owwww....."

-------------------------------------

**Oh no! Lloyd's been kidnapped...again! And by Martel? What the crap?! Will Sheena, Zelos and Colette survive Raine's wrath? And will Kratos, Regal and Ferret Genis find Lloyd? Anyway, sorry this chapter took so long to type....lack of ideas and working on my other fanfic. You should check it out! Anyway, R&R please! Thanks!**


	4. Inn Trouble: Part 1: And Or!

**Note: And now moving onto the issue of lack of beds in the game's inns.....while going along with the awkward plot I have going on right now. Randomness shall ensue. Disclaimer, take it away!**

**Disclaimer: Angelglory doesn't own anything appearing in this chapter. I do own the coats thoughs...**

**Now, time to reply to mah reviewahs:**

**Gcn-Sayian-Elite: Holy Crap! I can't believe I forgot about Yuan! Now I _gotta_ put him in the story!**

**spacemelon: I shall!**

**The Zelda Master: I'm glad you like my fic so much! I wasn't even sure where I was going with the whole Martel thing...but now I got an idea...so hold to your seat(s)!**

**Death to followers of Cruxis: !**

**Artemis Mayeko: His name is Peter Griffin. Anyway, I'M SURE IF YOU COULD SAY MARTEL'S GONE _INSANE_....MAYBE SOMETHING ELSE THOUGH! ((evil laughter))**

**Gir is Kawaii: Invader Zim is teh awesome!**

**holyninjagirl: Hey, wake up! You'll miss the story!**

**Koharu-Soma: I have no idea where in the depths of my mind I got "The sky has dandruff" from....it will forever be a mystery.**

**Ryu-Warrior: Glad you're enjoying the story so much.**

---------------

Chapter 4: Inn Trouble! (( a.k.a "And Or" ))

It was a "turn the page, wash you hands" kinda day. Actually, it was night now. Anyway, moving along, the Tales of Symphonia heroes minus Lloyd were marching through the Triet Desert. They were looking for their dear idiotic swordsman and or friend and or "pet" and or--

"GET ON WITH IT!!!!" shouts the audience and or readers and or fans and or--

"I pity da foo' who don't get on widdit!" says Mr T.

Meep! Alright, I'll get on widdit! Anyway, the group continues their march through the desert when--

"Excuse me?" says Genis, whom I finally fixed back to normal.

Argh....What is it ferret freak?

"What happened to Flanoir? Weren't you going somewhere with the whole 'Zelos, Sheena and Colette at the mercy of Raine's wrath' thing? And what about me, Kratos, Presea and Regal out in the snow? And how come I'm not a ferret anymore? Huh? Huh?" bickered Genis.

Ah, sonnova bi--

**_PLEASE STANDBY. SORRY FOR THE INCONVIENCE. _**insert elevator music and or random piano music and or awesomly awesome to keep readers busy music and or--

REVISED: Chapter 4: Inn Trouble! (( still a.k.a "And Or" ))

It was a "turn the page, wash you hands" kinda day. Actually, it was night now IN FLANOIR. Anyway, moving along, let's check in on Sheena, Zelos and Colette.

"Got any...uh...red cards?" Zelos asked, looking at Colette's cards.

"Go fish!" Colette squealed happily.

"Zelos, you have the only red card. We're not even playing Go Fish!" Sheena complained.

Colette titled her head to the side. "Oh...we're not? What game _are_ we playing, Sheena?" she squealed/asked.

"We aren't playing anything! I was thinking of which card I would use to kill myself with before Raine gets to me again." Sheena said darkly.

"Oh, you're going to sacrifice yourself in order to save us? Wow, Sheena, I never knew you had it in you." Colette squealed/commented.

Sheena picked on of her cards and slapped over Colette's mouth. "Shut Up Seal!" she shouted.

"Mime Farry." Colette squealed from under the card. Try and guess what she says for the rest of the chapter....I'll give a prize of a whole lot of absolutely nothing and or a toaster and or lifetime supply of hash browns and or a free wrestling lesson from Raine and or--

"SHUT UP SEAL!" Sheena tries to shut me up...

But I'm too awesome to shut up! Nyuck nyuck nyuck!

And now onto the others: Kratos, Regal and, back in fur it's, Ferret Genis!

"Ferret Ferret..." ferreted Genis.

"Of course we're lost! How else would we know where we're going?" Kratos yelled.

"I thought being lost meant that we don't know where we're going." Regal questioned Kratos' methods.

"Oh...um...well...show me potato salad!" Kratos shouted, pointing off into the sky.

"Wha...?" Regal looked in the direction Kratos' was pointing.

Kratos, with Ferret Genis on his shoulder, made a run for it off into the snowstorm. "Yoink!" he exclaimed triumphantly.

Rgeal was now lost by himself in the snow. Sure, you'd think he'd eventually walk into one of the buildings. But since I'm not satisfied with just pummeling him with snowballs, I'm putting outside the city.

"WHAT?!" Regal shouted in horror as I boot him over the city walls. "AhHhHhHhHhHhHhHh!"

IT'S GOOD!

-------------------------------------

MEANWHILE, Batman style! Colette's face flys at you from your computer screen then suddenly shrinks and goes away and or disappears and or vanishes from existance and or--

"Wait a sec...If we aren't holding the door closed, how come Raine hasn't come in yet?" Zelos asked, looking for Raine's shadow through the bottom of the closet door.

"Huh? Well, um....uh oh!" Sheena exclaimed as rapid foot steps were heard approaching the door.

Suddenly, Raine drop kicked the door open, crushing Zelos behind it. The crazed teacher held up some item with glory.

"BEHOLD! THE MIGHTY WING PACK!" she yelled. "Everyone inside!"

Nothing happened...

"Oh yes, I forgot...It only activates when a plothole is made." she explained to herself.

Colette looked around. "Mayor dib Mellows hand Fina hoe?" she squealed/asked.

Zelos' limp body fell out from behind the door. "I can't feel my beautiful face." he whimpered.

"_There's the two dim-wits...now where's my Squishy?_" Raine thought to herself, looking around the closet.

When suddenly, she noticed the coats hanging there. She leap to them and pushed some of them aside. "Squishy? You in here?" she asked the coats.

"Anyone here named 'Squishy'?" asked one of the coats to the rest of the coats.

"Nope, just us coats." said Sheena, hiding in one of the coats.

"Yeah, and I gotta say, Larry, did you get implants or something?" asked another coat.

"Oh well, whaddya know...I do seem a bit bustier than usual." commented Larry the coat.

Raine pointed at Larry. "You must be hiding Squishy! Gimme gimme gimme!" she demanded, jumping up and down.

"Hey! Don't be harassing our friend, mortal!" shouted the first coat.

"Oh, I'm sorry, please forgive me." Raine pleaded.

"Yeah, you better be sorry!" growled the second coat.

"Yeah! If I had pants, I'd get off this rack and teach you a lesson!" shouted the Larry.

"Right on! Mess with us coats again, we kick yo' ass!" Sheena said, following along with the coats.

"Woah woah woah, who was that? Which wonna you coats said that?" the first coat asked.

All of the coats looked at Larry. "Hey, it wasn't me! It was this hunnie hiding inside me." Larry said, opening itself up to show Sheena clinging onto the inside of Larry.

"Meep." Sheena squeaked.

"Squishy! There you are!" Raine squealed in delight as she pulled Sheena into a hug of doomedness.

"Ooh, kinky!" the second coat said, pulling out a camera from it's pocket and taking a picture.

"I hear that!" Zelos said, also taking a picture of the kinkiness.

Colette tilted her head. "Dan boats steven bake fixtures?" she squealed. ((Translation: Can coats even take pictures?)) I only gave that one away cause it woudn't make sense of what Raine says next...

Raine's eyes lit up. "I smell a plothole! Everybody inside!" she said, holding up the wing pack again.

PLOTHOLE! ACTIVATE! Sheena, Zelos and Colette zoom in the Wing Pack. Portable People, whee! XD and or X3 and or :3 and or :D and or--

Raine happily skips out of the inn, after putting the Wing Pack into her jacket, and right into Kratos. Kratos just stared at Raine for a few minutes, while Ferret Genis played in the snow, there was only one way out of this mess. The only way he knew how to escape a woman's wrath.

"Zelos did it! It's his fault Lloyd's gone! Please, oh please, spare my life!" Kratos pleaded, pratically crying as he hugged Raine's legs.

"Lloyd's gone? Where?! Where my puppy?!" Raine yelled, as she strangled Kratos.

"I know where he is!" a voice called out.

"Who's there?!" Raine asked.

"It is I! I am the terror that flaps in the night, I am Darkwing--"

"YUAN! Stop being an idiot and get out here!" Kratos shouted.

Yuan walked out from the shadows, looking very sad. "Aww, you ruined my cool entrance! I hate you!" he whined.

"Nevermind that! Where's Lloyd?!" Raine asked, almost strangling Yuan as well.

"Martel took him away." he said in fear of Raine's wrath.

"Ferret Ferret?" ferreted Genis.

"No, not Mithos' sister, Martel! That'd make her a zombie, and zombies are icky. Blech! It was the guardian of the Giant Tree, that Martel." Yuan explained.

"But what would Martel want with such an idiot?" Kratos asked aloud.

" -.- Ferret Ferret..." ferreted Genis. ((Translation: " -.- This is just like when _Raine_ kidnapped Lloyd..."))

Dull silence...even Raine shut up....

Kratos shook his head and sighed. "At any rate, we should probably go to the Giant Tree. We'll most likely find Lloyd and Martel there." he spoke logically.

"Let's go..." Raine grumbled as she started out for the city limits.

**YUAN JOINED THE PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

"Ah! What the hell was that?!" Yuan screamed.

"Get use to it....you'll hear things like that a lot." Kratos said, patting Yuan on the shoulder. "Come on, let's get this crusade over with."

"I thought we were looking for Lloyd." Yuan said, giving Kratos an odd look.

Kratos looked around nervously. "You heard nothing..." He walks off after Raine.

-------------------------------------

MEANWHILE AGAIN, Regal's face (( like so XD )) comes flying at your screen then zoom back out.

In the middle of nowhere and or the middle of a snowfield and or not in Flanoir and or--

"One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish!" Regal chanted as he counted the imaginary fish leaping through the snow. "You know this isn't so bad after all, right Antonio Banderas?"

"Right you are, amigo." Antonio Bandares said before leaping off to join the fish.

Who says you have to be in a desert to hallucinate?

-------------------------------------

MEANWHILE AGAIN AGAIN, Ferret Genis scurries about your screen then is chased by Presea.

Inside the Wing Pack, things are boring. At least until...

"Hey! I found something!" Zelos shouted. "It's a wall!"

"Mow! Me muss ge ginna mouse!" Colette squealed.

Sheena is seen in the background trying to stab one of her cards through her head.

"No, I don't think it's a wall," Zelos continued. "It's...very......._very_......_VERY_....soft."

He went about feeling up this supposedly very soft wall. "I...have this feeling I've felt something like this before. Hmm...it feels so familiar." he commented.

Sheena stopped her attempted suicide to warn Zelos. "Zelos, I don't think you should be touching that wall. I think it's up against--"

"OH! I KNOW! It's....it's...IT IS! It feels so much like Raine's ass!" he said, hugging the wall gleefully.

Zelos is immediately smite'd by a gigantic bitch slap from Raine on the outside of the Wing Pack.

"SIMMA DOWN IN THA!" Raine shouts from outside.

-------------------------------------

MEANWHILE AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN, Lloyd's face now flys at you but crashes into your computer screen then falls over.

Lloyd is seen running around the Giant Tree...okay it hasn't grown that much yet. But anyway, Matrel is sitting down on a big rock with a construction hat on, overseeing a new inn being built.

**TIME LAPSE!!**

And so the inn was finished and Martel deviously plotted to herself. "They'll never find they're way out of there." she snickered.

"Impending doom! XD YAY!" Lloyd squealed.

"Aw, that's a good Lloyd." Martel said, scratching Lloyd behind his like a puppy.

"X3" Lloyd emotion bubbled.

**TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!! In the second part of "Inn Trouble!"....**

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**Martel is a da villain! Sorry this took so damn long to post....lack a da motivation and also working on other fics. R&R please! Thanks!**


	5. Inn Trouble: Part 2: Sammiches!

**Note: Here's the second half of Inn Trouble! Be sure to read mah other fics as well! (shameless plug)**

**Disclaimer: Angelglory doesn't own anything appearing in this chapter. Not too sure about the sammiches though...**

**Now, time to reply to mah reviewahs:**

**Luna-Starr: I'm glad you enjoy 'Spiffy Symphonia'!**

**The Zelda Master: Argh! You were so close! The last line is actually, "Wow! We must be in a house!". I'll give you a prize anyway... (gives you a...uh...sammich)**

**Zelda's Fox 38: When you 'bitch kick' someone, it's enough. I hope you enjoy future chapters.**

**treekicker: I'm continuing continuing continuing...**

**Streek-has-returned471: OKAY!**

**Koharu-Soma: Impending Doom! Oh yeah!**

**BrokenAngel,ForgivenDevil: Well, I'm glad I could help you with that...**

**Beastwar-walrus12: And thus...I shall continue...No duh.**

-

Chapter 5: Inn Trouble! Part 2 (( a.k.a. Sammiches ))

It was a day. Our mostly together group of heroes had found Regal and was now on their way to-

"Woah woah woah! Hold on a second!" Zelos shouted, appearing next to mwahself.

What the hell now! I've had enough of you people interrupting me!

"What's with the day thing? Don't you usually put somthing stupid along with it?" Zelos inquried.

Nag, nag nag, nag nag! That's all I hear from you guys! If you think you can do this, go ahead. Write this damn chapter for me!

"Okay!" Zelos nodded happily. "I'll be glad to help ya out!"

Sorry, just kidding...you're supposed to be in the Wing Pack after all.

"Awww..." Zelos poofs out of sight and back into da Wing Pack.

Moving along...It was actually a Disco Bowlin' kinda day. Anyway, the ToS heroes landed their Rheairds conveiniently near a new inn, promptly called "Impending Doom on the Tales of Symphonia Heroes Inn".

"Hmm...Sounds safe enough." Kratos claimed, reading the name of the Inn.

"And it's conveiniently near the Giant Kharlan Tree." Yuan added.

"Wait, I thought Lloyd gave the tree a new name." Regal stated.

**FLASHBACK!** (cue cheesy inspirational music)

Lloyd looked up at the majestic tree before him. "This tree's name is...BOB!"

(cut music) "Bob?" Martel asked.

"Yeah! Bob's a great name! XD" Lloyd commented.

The entire world population facefalls...

**END FLASHBACK!**

"Let's just go inside already." Raine said, letting Sheena, Zelos and Colette out of the Wing Pack.

"Augh! Free! Free to see Raine's ass again!" Zelos shouted, stretching his arms out gleefully into the air.

Smite'd. Raine plows her boot into Zelos' face. "Not the face!" Zelos exclaimed.

"Would you knock it off already, Zelos!" Sheena complained.

"Ferret Ferret." ferreted Genis.

And so the heroes entered the Inn, only to come face to face with...Martel?

"...Has a mustache!" Sheena exclaimed. Sounds of Zelos screaming in agony can be heard in the background.

"I'm not Martel. I'm Marrrrt...y." Martel claimed, waving her hands around.

"Cut the act, Miss Marrrrty! I know it's you Martel! Give me back my puppy!" Raine yelled pointing an accusing finger at the Innkeeper. "You're shameful acts will make the Giant...ugh, _Bob_ Tree wither and die!"

"The tree will only wither away if their is hate in peoples hearts...and stuff." Martel remarked, ripping the 'fake' mustache off and throwing it away. "I don't hate you...I really hate you!" She added.

Sounds of a tree falling down and exploding can be heard.

O.O;; Um...

Raine and Martel: Take 2. ACTION! "I don't hate you...I loathe you!" She added, shaking her fist at Raine.

No tree explosions can be heard. Phew...

"Why me? What'd I do to you?" Raine asked, shocked.

"You had Lloyd first! You've taken the feeling of getting something first away from me." Martel growled.

"Who would've thought Martel could be so childish." Kratos mumbled to Yuan.

"I did...but in a different way." Yuan giggled like a school girl.

ANYWAY, where's Lloyd?" Sheena asked Martel. "Since you're here, Lloyd has to be here. We came to get him back."

"He...uh...went to the grocery store." Martel claimed, looking off in some other direction.

Just then, Lloyd popped up from behind the counter. "I couldn't find anything called 'Passionate Sex with Me' down there. Are you sure it's under the counter?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.

"I-I...don't know what your talking about, Lloyd." Martel said nervously.

"But...I remember, 'cause you started kicking right after some people showed up..." Lloyd exclaimed.

**FLASHBACK!**

Lloyd stood behind the counter with Martel. "Lloyd! I want you to have some passionate sex with me under the counter." She announced.

"O...kay." Lloyd goes under the counter to find this 'Passionate Sex with Me' thing. "Where is it? All I see is your legs...the floor...and- OW!"

The ToS heroes arrived and entered the Inn, resulting in Martel slapping on a mustache and kicking Lloyd to stop.

**END FLASHBACK!**

"See? The flashback shows all!" Lloyd shouted, throwing his arms up into the arms enthusiastically.

"MARTEL! HOW COULD YOU!" Yuan cried. "I thought you loved me! Oh...wait, wrong Martel. Heheh."

"Puppy?" Raine said, seeing Lloyd.

"Professor! Eeeee!" Lloyd jumped over the counter and in front of Raine.

"I missed you! Yes I did! Yes I did!" Raine said, scratching behind Lloyd's ears like he was a puppy.

"Meow X3" Lloyd laid down on the floor, while Raine scratched his tummy.

"Awww..." Everyone else said, except Martel.

Just then, Presea slowly walked into the Inn. She looked very said as she said, "I couldn't find..." She saw Ferret Genis gnawing on his own tail. "GENIS :D"

"Ferret Ferret!" ferreted Genis.

Presea proceeded to scratch Genis like Raine did Lloyd.

"Awww..." Everyone said again, including Martel.

Zelos quietly turned to Sheena and held his arms out, hug-ready like, with one of his stupid smiles. "Come on...you know you wanna." He remarked slyly.

Smite'd. Sheena plowed her fist into Zelos' prettyful face. "My...My precious face." He whimpered, falling onto the floor.

"Awww..." Everyone else said except Sheena, who snickered instead.

"So? Now what? We got Lloyd back." Kratos said.

"No you didn't. But...If you survive one night here. I'll give Lloyd back." Martel announced.

"We...could just take Lloyd and leave." Regal commented.

No...No, not really. That'd ruin the plot. At least for this chapter...

"Can't you just change the plot?" Raine asked with hopeful eyes.

Ohhh...so beautiful. NO! Must resist. T-Tell you all what. If you stay, I'll give you all sammiches.

"OKAY!" Lloyd shouted with glee.

"Lloyd!" Everyone shouted angrily.

"What! I wanna sammich!" Lloyd whined.

Come on, guys. Just one night AND free sammiches. That's one crazy deal!

After convincing each other that free sammiches was way better than Raine making dinner, the ToS heroes agreed. Nyeh heh heh heh. Time Lapse to night time, to keep it fresh and a mystery who goes with who.

"Does the classic "RPG Inn rule" apply?" Zelos asked, appearing beside me again.

Yep. Why don't you refresh our readers' memories, Zelos?

"Sure thing." Zelos cracked his fingers and cleared his throat. "Ok, folks, listen up. As all of you RPG players know, there are never enough beds to fit your entire party at the inns. And since there's ten of us staying at the inn tonight. We get to pair off." Hearts fluttered into Zelos' eyes. "I hope you paired me with one of our lovely ladies, AG."

Huh? Oh, yeah sure, whatever. Hurry up and get outta here, I gotta keep writing the fic.

"Aww, can't I stay up here 'til it's my turn?" Zelos begged. "I wanna see what everyone else is up to!"

Argh, fine! Just stay out of the way!

Anyway, back to the fic, let's go to the first room! Let's see who's inside room #1! Well well well, looks like we got four characters in this room.

"Alright..." Kratos began with a serious glance over to Yuan. "You and your companions travel the dungeon, when suddenly you are faced with Dragon of Fear."

Yuan whined. "Damn! I knew I should've wore my Gauntlet of Orge Strength." He turned to Kratos. "Ya know Finland the Mighty, Martel promised she'd play with us once. Of course she died right after that."

"Cheer up, King Moltar the Great. Now let's get out their and slay that dragon." Regal said reassuringly.

"Hey, wait a minute. I'm still in the bar." Lloyd commented.

"How could you be? You all left for the dungeon." Kratos replied.

Lloyd bounced up and down. "No no, I stayed at the bar." He exclaimed.

"Now why would you do that?" Kratos raised an eyebrow.

"'Cause my barbarian needs ale for the journey, Duh!" Lloyd scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Alright fine. Anyway-" Kratos said before begin interrupted.

"Can I sneak attack the dragon with my thief?" Regal asked.

"No, it's the Dragon of Fear." Kratos stated.

"Well, can I just try seducing it?" Yuan asked stupidly.

"No! You can't. It's a dragon!" Kratos said angrily.

"Am I drunk yet?" Lloyd whined.

"What's your constitution?" Kratos asked, looking to Lloyd.

"Uh...fifteen." Lloyd replied.

"You're not drunk yet!" Kratos asnswered Lloyd, annoyed.

Regal was taken by surprise. "Geez, fifteen? My thief only has ten." He remarked.

Yuan laughed. "That's nothing! I have twenty-four charisma!" he said proudly.

There was silence in the entire room. "What! I'm just that damn sexy." He said, justifying his stats.

"Um, guys, the dragon?" Kratos asked, about to lose it.

"Screw the dragon! Aren't I drunk yet!" Lloyd shouted.

Kratos' eyes twitched , followed by him quickly standing up kocking over the table. "You know what! Lloyd dies of alcohol poisoning and the dragon kills you both!" He yelled, running out of the room, screaming something about 'Saffles' as he left.

"Aw, come on Kratos! We were only kidding!" Lloyd ran out after him.

"Wow, Kratos sure can be one whiny S.O.B." Zelos commented.

Well, playing D and D with an idiot like Lloyd can do stuff like that to ya. Anyway, let's move to the next room. Room # 2, Colette, Sheena and Presea. Even though Colette got the Shut Up Seal off, nothing else was happening.

"Boring! Geez, AG, you have no sense of awareness." Zelos said. "Here, let me see that keyboard!"

Taking the keyboard from my hands, Zelos started typing in what he thought was appropriate for the three girls to do.

ZELOS! You're not the author! You can't type the fic, you bastard!

"Shh...sit back and enjoy the show." Zelos commented slyly, still typing.

Dwha...?

"Pillow fight!" Sheena shouted, grabbing a pillow and bashing Colette across the face.

"Yay! X3" Colette squealed, also grabbing a pillow but hitting Presea.

"RAWR!" Presea bellowed, smite'd-ing Colette and Sheena with one swing of her own pillow.

...RAWR?

"I couldnt think of anything for her to say." Zelos admitted, shrugging his shoudlers.

Amatuer...

"Shush! I'm still typing!" Zelos growled.

The three girls continued beating on each other until they were all sweaty and-

Ok, time's up Zelos. Back to the fic with you!

"Wait...that means I'm with Raine? Oh crap! She's gonna kill me!" Zelos skrieked.

Not if she's preoccupied with Genis...

"Genis? Augh, I don't wanna share a room with that br-" Zelos returns to the fic.

Alrighty, Room #3. Raine, Genis and Zelos. After this room is done with, we go right to the morning. Chapter...too...long! Argh!

Ferret Genis scurried around under the covers, hiding around with Raine. "Genis, get out here this instant!" Raine shouted, holding her staff.

"Ferret Ferret!" ferreted Genis.

"Don't say I didn't warned you!" Raine yelled, as she starting smacking the one bed with her staff in various places.

"Ferret...FERRET!" ferreted Genis.

"Come on furball, I'm not happy about sharing a bed with a ferret either." Zelos remarked. "Stupid brat...I'll get you for this, AG." Zelos thought.

After hitting a certain spot and hearing a ferret cry, Raine stopped beating the bed down and got in. "Let's just get this night over with." She grumbled.

After a large poof sound and bright sparkly lights, NORMAL! Genis crawled out from under the covers. "Holy Jesus Jinkies! I'm back to normal! Finally!" he shouted with glee.

Zelos snorted. "Great, less room for us important people." he muttered.

Reluctantly, Zelos got into the large bed. After a few moments of awkward silence, things took a turn for the worse...

"Ergh..." Genis grumbled. "Raine, why do we have to share a bed with Zelos?"

"Oh, I get it now. You just want to 'wrestle' some more, don'tcha?" Zelos commented.

"MORON! You said you wouldn't say anything!" Genis shouted at the idiot chosen angrily.

"You TOLD Zelos! And when I told you not to!" Raine exclaimed. "Neither of you may leave this room alive. I'll have to kill you both."

"Oh snap!" Zelos shouted. "Run away!"

Chaos ensues for the rest of the night.

**THE NEXT MORNING!...**

The ToS heroes all stood at the check-out counter. An agitated Martel handed Lloyd's leash back to Raine then stomped off into...not...in the same room.

"Balance has been restored." Regal said, making a little rainbow with his hands.

Alright guys, here're your sammiches. Argh, Ressurection! Genis and Zelos come back to life after being brutal murdered the night before. Here are your sammiches!

"YAAY! X3" Everyone shouted with joy.

The ToS heroes left the inn only to get into more crazy hijinx...next chapter.

**ELSEWHERE...**

Martel stood by herself in a spotlight that radiates down from nowhere. "Curse those Tales of Symphonia heroes." She scowled. "I'll need help to get rid of them...or maybe I should actually do soemthing to get rid of them next time."

"I think we can help." A mysterious voice called out.

Martel turned around only to see...**THE CAST OF HAPPY DAYS!**

"Eyyyyyyy." went the Fonz.

"No! Over here!" the vocie shouted.

Martel turns again to see...Mithos and his posse a.k.a. the Five Desian Grand Cardinals.

PlotholE, pLothoLe, plOthOle, ploTHole, PLOTHOLE!

-

**Howwas dat? Sorry for lack o updates again. Managing three fics does stuff like this. RR Please. Thanks!**


	6. Air Force Dojo vs Butter Pants

**Author's Note: This chapter came up from the last chapter and the thought, "Would the Grand Cardinals make a good boy band? No, but still it's worth to laugh at..." Okay! Take it away Disclaimer!**

**Disclaimer: Angelglory does not own anything appearing in the chapter. I'd be surprised if someone owned Boybandia.**

**Now, time to reply to mah reviewahs:**

**BrokenAngel,ForgivenDevil: Glad you like teh fic.**

**Twisted-Galaxy: Me like, as well!**

**cyberwolfmk: It'd help if I knew who they all were. I only remember the Fonz.**

**Zelda's Fox 38: I must give you credit for this chapter's plot. Thank you.**

**The Zelda Master: The 'Passionate Sex' part was my personal favorite joke.**

**Gcn-Sayian-Elite: PLOThOle……….**

**Chibi-Sheik: Thanks for loving it.**

**SnowCrystal: I AM using Mithos.**

**Avini: Hmm…(plotting…plotting)**

**treekicker: Yes, Oh Snap indeed.**

**me: Maw ha ha ha! My fanbase keeps growing!**

**psychobreadfish: Glad you're a fan!**

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

_**Chapter 6: Air Force Dojo vs. Butter Pants ((a.k.a. Boybandia))**_

It was a pass the Omelets kinda day, and our ToS heroes were indeed passing the Omelets. After last chapter's hijinx, there's nothing to do…except…

"No… Just no." Kratos said sternly.

"Aww, come on, why not? We'd make a great boy band!" Lloyd claimed. "We have enough guys here, so we can do it! Please?"

Colette clapped her hands together. "Come on, Kratos, you'll be great." She squealed.

"It's not open for discussion." Kratos finally said, walking away.

Lloyd whined and turned to everyone else. "But I wanna be popular!" he exclaimed.

"Even if we got Kratos in on this…we'd still need a fifth guy." Yuan remarked.

"But we have…" Lloyd began.

"Regal doesn't count… and the brat's to young for this kinda stuff." Zelos said, casting a glare at Regal and Genis.

"I'm so unloved." Regal commented, a single tear running down his face.

A stupid, as usual, idea popped into Lloyd's head. "HEY! Maybe we could disguise one of the girls as a guy!" He squeaked.

"…"

Lloyd is then beaten to a bloody pulp by all of the female party members except Colette, who was chasing butterflies.

"Flutterbys! Eeeee!" Colette squealed.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

MEANWHILE, The cast of villains were playing four square, I mean, discussing evil. Martel stood in the middle of the group.

"Roll call!" She shouted. "Everyone remember their new names? OK! Four Seasons?"

"Here!" Forcystus called out.

"Magnolia?"

"Here! vErMiN!" Magnius said.

"Prozac?"

"Myeh, here." Pronyma gurgled.

"Caviar?"

"That would be me." Kvar claimed.

"Radish?"

"Heeeeeeeeere!' Rodyle creaked.

"Mentos?

"Why am we even alive? I though that idiot Lloyd smite'd us all." Mithos commented.

"He did, but you should thank the plotholes. Anyway, everyone just call me…Motel for now." Martel answered.

"Motel, how exactly are we going to destroy those stupid ToS heroes anyway?" Forcystus asked.

"Simple, Four Seasons, after reading the above text, I've come up with the perfect plan!" Martel chimed.

"Which is?" Mithos asked.

"They're making a boy band. And if us villains beat them at that, we'll be better!" Martel shouted.

"…"

"That's it?" Kvar asked.

Martel slapped Kvar like a walnut on Easter Sunday. "Of course that's it! After we defeat those losers, Lloyd will be all mine!" she yelled.

"Cradle robber…" Mithos mumbled.

Martel cast a death glare at Mithos. "Emo…" she muttered. "Anyway, let's get going. We depart to…that way!" she shouted, pointing upways and to the left.

And so the villains flew away. Offwards to…

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

"...Boybandia?" Sheena asked, reading the sign overhead.

"Welcome to Boybandia!" said the sign. "Where every girl's need to obsess over a bunch a guys who have no coordination whatsoever is fulfilled."

Dull silence…

"Cool, I was looking for a place like this." Sheena spoke up.

Everything in known existence stopped whatever it was they were doing to look at Sheena in disbelief.

"W-What?" Sheena asked.

"C'mon, let's go in!" Lloyd shouted gleefully.

As the ToS heroes approached the entrance to Boybandia, Random Pedestrian #3462 halted them.

"I'm sorry, only boy bands and screaming girls are allowed in," said Random Pedestrian #3462.

"But we are a boy band!" Lloyd pleaded, pointing back to the other male members of the party. "And…they're…our groupies." He continued hesitantly, pointing to the girls. Zelos can be heard saying "Schweet," in the background.

"Are you sure they are?" asked Random Pedestrian #3462.

After a short pause, Raine quickly slapped Colette's hands closed, crushing the butterfly she caught. In response, Colette started screaming her head off.

"My Flutterby!" She squealed/screamed/cried.

"That's her favorite song." Raine remarked.

"Okay, you're in…Wait a second. This guy…" Random Pedestrian #3462 pointed to Regal. "He's to ugly to be in a boy band. He can't come in."

"Why must you all hate me so?" Regal whined.

"Wait, Regala is a girl, a very ugly girl. She's the representative of all of the ugly people that love us." Zelos explained

"Oh yeah, I forgot about those people," replied #3462.

"Exactly, now just let us in, I'm feeling sleepy." Yuan whined. Everyone just looked at Yuan for a second. "Just playing the part." The angel grumbled.

"Before I let you all in, I need to know your boy band's name." Said Random Pedestrian #3462.

"We're…uh…we're…" Lloyd stuttered.

"Air Force Dojo!" Genis shouted happily.

Dull silence…

"O…k, have a great day." #3462 said confusedly, opening the gate and letting our ToS heroes inside Boybandia.

And so as the heroes entered, the villains approached the gate. Of course, they were stopped by #3462. "Hold it, only boy bands and screaming girls are allowed in."

"They are a boy band." Martel said pointing to the male villains. "And my gothic friend and I are screaming girls." She pointed to herself and Pronyma.

"But, four of those guys are freakin' ugly," deduced #3462.

"DAMMIT! LET US IN NOW! WE'RE THE FRIKKIN' VILLAINS! SO STOP STALLING AND OPEN THE GATE!" Martel screamed.

#3462 lay curled up in a ball crying afterwards. "I just…need the boy band's name."

"VerMiN! We never thought of a name." Magnus claimed.

"Calm down, Magnolia. I have an idea." Mithos said reassuringly. Turning to #3462, he said, "We are Butter Pants."

Dull silence…

"O…k, first Air Force Dojo, now Butter Pants. What next, the cast of Happy Days?" asked #3462, opening the gate to Boybandia.

"Eyyyy!" went the Fonz, appearing out of nowhere.

"He's with us." Martel said quickly, grabbing the Fonz and pulling him along with the villains as they entered.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

Lloyd was happy to just get inside. Everyone else, though, was not as happy.

"What exactly are we supposed to do here?" Genis asked the rest, as he looked around Boybandia.

Lloyd shrugged his shoulders, with his usual dumb-founded look on his face. "I dunno. I never really thought about that." He admitted.

Kratos, after so long not losing it, lost it. He wrapped his hands around his son's neck and started to strangle him. "Why you little…! You made us come all the way here for nothing!" he yelled.

Raine slapped Kratos and yelled, "Don't hurt the puppy!"

"(Whine)" whined Lloyd, similarly to a Noishe whine.

Raine then began strangling Kratos. "You hurt the puppy!" she screamed.

Sheena suddenly began to strangle Zelos. "Argh! Why're you…(cough)…choking me?" Zelos managed to say as the summoner continued her assault.

Sheena stopped choking the redhead for a second, but then resumed her act. "Stupid Chosen! Need a reason for strangling!" she yelled.

Meanwhile, another pedestrian approached our heroes. "You're up next," claimed Random Pedestrian #9145.

The entire group immediately became confused and responded with the same, "Dwha?"

#9145 held up a piece of paper. "I got it right here, the next battle…song…thing. Air Force Dojo vs. Butter Pants." He claimed.

"What? We have to sing? That wasn't what I agreed to! I was only told I had to have no coordination!" Yuan exclaimed, tripping over his own feet although he was standing still.

But before any could care about Yuan's predicament, Lloyd was already running onto the stage. "YAAY! We get to sing!" He squealed.

The rest of the members of Air Force Dojo reluctantly followed the over-excited swordsman on stage, with Kratos having to drag Yuan because he kept falling over. As they reached the stage, Air Force Dojo came face to face with Butter Pants for the first time…kinda.

"You!" yelled everyone onstage, as they pointed at the group across from them.

"Mithos!" shouted Lloyd.

"Kratos!" yelled Mithos.

"Kvar!" shouted Kratos.

"Magnolia!" yelled Kvar.

"Vermin!" shouted Magnius.

"Mithos!" yelled Genis.

"Genis?" questioned Mithos.

"Macadamia!" creaked Rodyle.

"Gazebo!" yelled Yuan.

"Bulbous Bouffant!" screamed Zelos.

"SHUT UP AND SING ALREADY! SHOW THOSE STUPID HEROES WHO'S BETTER!" Martel demanded.

"Martel!" growled Raine.

"What's her face!" Martel growled back.

"Motel!" gurgled Pronyma.

"My flutterby!" Colette squealed, as she accidentally let her new butterfly go.

"Colette…" Sheena grumbled.

"Squishy!" Raine shouted with glee, huggling Sheena.

The screaming fan girls were getting impatient. "Sing already!" they screamed.

Lloyd thought for a second, "I got one! Follow my lead!" he proclaimed.

The other members of Air Force Dojo were hesitant, but they nodded.

Random techno music started playing and Lloyd spoke up, starting the intro for this song he just came up with. "Gather 'round boys and girls. Today, we learn about the days of the week!"

There was a pause, followed by Lloyd yelling/singing out the next part and onward. "_Days of the week! There's seven of them. Unless you're in school, then there's only five!_"

"Flonase Monday!" a booming voice yelled.

"_The day of nostril high! Snort and sniff towards nasal bliss!_" sang Lloyd.

"Toaster Tuesday!" yelled the voice, as Lloyd pointed to Kratos.

Kratos stammered for a second but then joined in and sang, "_Uh…Waffles, Pop Tarts, whatever the food. It's all one toasty smorgasbord!_"

_Days of the week! There's seven of them. Unless you're in school, then there's only five!_

"Tylenol Wednesday!" yelled the voice again, as Kratos slapped Yuan on the back.

Yuan joined in as well, after falling over a few more times. "_Tylenol! Oh yeah! It solves everything! Even world hunger!_" He sang.

"Lumberjack Thursday!" yelled the voice.

Genis jumped forward excitedly and sang, "_Screw Arbor Day! I like log cabins, how about you? Lumberjacks cut down your stupid giant toothpicks! So what're you gonna do?_"

_Nothing!_

Days of the week! There's seven of them. Unless you're in school, then there's only five! 

"Find Your Sex Friday!" Zelos shouted, joining in with the song. "_No matter what you do, you gotta find that sex! Flying through the air! Under the sea! In a WASHTUB! You gotta find that sex!_"

Everything went silent with disbelief, but then quickly resumed with the song.

"Spiffy Saturday!" yelled the voice.

"_At least 59,763246 times during the day, you'll hear the word 'Spiffy'! Spiffy Spiffy Spiffy Spiffy Spiffy Spiffy Spiffy Spiffy! SPOON!_" Yuan sang again.

Days of the week! There's seven of them. Unless you're in school, then there's only five! 

"Banana Phone Sunday!" yelled the voice.

Lloyd jumped forward again. "_Uh…I forgot what happens today…OH WELL!_"

Days of the week! There's seven of them. Unless you're in school, then there's only five! 

The members of Air Force Dojo all sang in unison, "Days of the week! What're you gonna do?"

Nothing! 

"What the hell was the point of this song?" Kratos asked Lloyd.

"I dunno!" Lloyd replied.

Days of the week! There's seven of them. Unless you're in school, then there's only five! 

_Days of the week! There's seven of them. Unless you're in school, then there's only five!_

Days of the week! There's seven of them. Unless you're in school, then there's only five! 

_Days of the week! There's seven of them. Unless you're in school, then there's only five!_

_Days of the week! There's seven of them. Unless you're in school, then there's only five!_

"Good night Boybandia!" Zelos shouted as he went crowd surfing.

The mass of screaming fan girls went crazy and so on and so forth. Mithos turned to the other members of Butter Pants. "Do we even have a song?" he asked.

"Nope, we're fresh out." Forcystus answered.

"Eh, let's just go place some Four Square." Kvar suggested.

And so Butter Pants left Boybandia and went off to play their games. The ToS heroes rejoiced on their victory over Butter Pants.

"Eyyyy!" went the Fonz, who appeared out of nowhere.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

**I dunno what I was on or what I was thinking when I wrote this…R 'n' R Please. Thanks! **


	7. All's Fair In Loving Lloyd

**Author's Note: This chapter is kinda like a "watching our family vacation" chapter. Or another episode of Cheaters. You decide. Okay! Take it away Disclaimer!**

**Disclaimer: Angelglory does not own anything appearing in the chapter. He does own all of the appearing songs in this fic AND he does have a picture of Professor Raine when she's sleeping…**

**Author's Note: No, I don't! (nervous laugh, grabbing the picture) You saw nothing!**

**Disclaimer: Tell that to her.**

**(Raine stands behind me…looking very pissed.)**

**Author's Note: …meep…**

**(pain ensues…)**

**Now, time to (ouch) reply to mah (ouch) reviewahs (ouchies!):**

Streek-has-returned471: I'll think about that… 

**Avini: O.O Hey! I need Yuan for the fic. Come back! (chases)**

**DeadEdBoy: This chapter should humor you.**

**Zelda's Fox 38: I'm not sure myself where I got those lyrics from. The song is mine though. All songs appearing in this fic belong to me!**

**Gcn-Sayian-Elite: Your waiting is over!**

**treekicker: GAZEBO!**

**The Zelda Master: Don't think that was the end of Motel and Butter Pants! Ahahaha!**

**ryuu-nin: At least YOU got the "wrestling" joke. Look for more of that kinda stuff…maybe.**

**person: I feel bad for that first Flutterby…(sob) Getting squashed like that…**

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

_**Chapter 7: All's Fair In Loving Lloyd ((a.k.a. Family Movies))**_

It was a "go outside and take your pants off" kinda day. Luckily for us, the ToS heroes stayed inside today. The only reason that was though was because it was that kinda day inside where you sit around and watch movies. Sure, the ToS heroes don't have movies. BUT, they got those pellet things! Put 'em together with one of those projector things and you got yourself home movies!

Our heroes are at Lloyd's house, sitting on a huge couch in front of the projector.

"Home movies, goodie!" Colette squealed.

"I hope there's a lot of chicks in this. I need my daily dosage of babes." Zelos said, sitting on the left arm of the couch. "And why don't I get to sit on the couch with you guys?"

"You're very untrustworthy in the dark. We're doing this for everyone's sake." Kratos replied, reluctantly sitting next to Zelos.

Genis rolled his eyes and sighed. "Can we get on with this? I'm getting bored staring at just a blank screen." He complained.

"AHEM," Regal began, "If you're all ready, I would like to start the first round of Pellets."

"What's up first?" Lloyd asked excitedly. "I've never seen a movie before."

"None of us have." Raine remarked, scratching Lloyd behind the ear.

"X3 Meow…" Lloyd purred, curling into a ball on the floor in front of the couch.

"I believe the first Pellet is from when we competed in the Washtub race." Presea commented.

"Go ahead and play it. This should good." Sheena said aloud.

Presea inserted the Pellet into the projector and the movie started…sorta.

"Please silence your cell phones. In case of fire use the nearest fire exit. Please help keep our theater clean by disposing trash in the trash containers. We hope you enjoy your stay at Regal Entertainment Cinema. The feature presentation will begin after the following preview." Said a voice.

Dull silence "…"

"Regal Entertainment Cinema?" Genis asked, looking towards Regal.

Regal just shrugged. "Don't ask me." He stated.

"COMING THIS SUMMER…" The ToS heroes jumped as the booming voice from last chapter yelled, "ONE MAN, ONE WAY, ONE DESIRE."

Zelos appears on the projector. "HE KNEW TOO MUCH!" yelled the voice.

"I know too much!" Projector Zelos yelled.

"HE WENT TOO FAR!" shouted the voice.

"I went too far!" shouted Projector Zelos.

"THOSE ARE MY LINES!" claimed the voice.

"Those are his lines." Projector Zelos claimed.

"ZELOS THE MOVIE! COMING THIS SUMMER TO A PROJECTOR NEAR YOU! Film may be unsuitable for Sheena." The voice announced.

"Thanks for making me look so good." Zelos exclaimed, a big grin painted on his face.

"Oh brother…" Sheena grumbled.

Kratos spoke up, "Quiet, the movie is starting."

The projector screen flickered for a second then the words, "Our Appearance In The Washtub Race," appeared.

"Wait, how did we film this if we were all competing?" Genis asked curiously.

The words, "Filmed by a seagull," appeared onscreen.

"So that's where my Pellet went!" Lloyd exclaimed.

The film opened with the very beginning of the race, where the unimportant people exploded. Lloyd stared at the screen with amusement. "Yay, Fireworks!" he squeaked.

Raine patted Lloyd on the head. "Yes, puppy, fireworks." She said in a reassuring manner.

The seagull then panned over to Projector Sheena summoning Undine. The summon-powered washtub began passing Regal's 'Australian'.

Regal made shifty-eyes. "I love this part," he said to himself as he watched on.

Projector Regal held up a bag of food and then began throwing fattening foods at the summoner. "Fattening Foods!" cried Projector Regal.

Projector Sheena screamed bloody murder as she fell into the ocean. It was followed by a laughed that sounded…kinda weird. Kinda like…

"I-Is the seagull laughing at me?" Sheena shouted, standing up from her spot on the couch.

Everyone else burst into laughter shortly afterwards, except Kratos obviously. "Shut up!" The enraged summoner wailed.

The seagull then flew to Zelos and Genis. They were already talking about, if you remember, you know what.

"You have any crazy stories? Come on, you gotta at least have one." Projector Zelos nagged.

Projector Genis looked around to see if Lloyd and Raine's tub was in sight. All clear! "Raine told me never to tell anyone about this for some reason, especially you, but as long as you don't say anything I guess it's okay." Projector Genis remarked.

Projector Zelos became instantly interested. "Oh? Do tell... I love hearing secrets that I shouldn't be hearing." he claimed, making shifty eyes afterwards.

"Ok, a few weeks ago...Raine taught me how to wrestle." Projector Genis announced.

"..."

"That's it?" Projector Zelos asked, disappointed.

"Yep, that's all. I don't know what the big deal is anyway." Projector Genis said.

"Well, that's a real let down. I thought it'd give me something to thi--" Projector Zelos stopped talking and his jaw immediately dropped. He got it now.

He looked at Projector Genis with an angry expression on his face. "You magnificent bastard..." he said before rowing ahead vigorously.

Projector Genis just blinked in confusion as Projector Zelos very very very very slowly advanced. I mean, he was going pretty slowly. Projector Genis wasn't even rowing and he still passed Projector Zelos.

"I still don't get it." Genis admitted then was immediately smacked in the face by Raine's staff.

Everyone else just sat in silence, contemplating of what the just saw on the screen, Lloyd and Colette were just confused. Things only got worse, the seagull went to Lloyd and Raine's tub.

((Getting tired of typing Projector, so…))

"Is something wrong, Professor Sage?" Lloyd asked nervously. "You've been staring at me for the past hour."

"You've grown up, Lloyd." was her only reply.

Lloyd blinked in utter confusion. "What? What're you talking about? Are you sea sick or something?" He asked, slightly blushing at Raine's odd stares.

Raine suddenly looked shocked as she pointed behind Lloyd. "Lloyd, look, AIR!" She shouted.

Lloyd, being the doofus that he is, turned to look. "What! Where? I can't see it!" He shouted. ((- -;;))

"I'll have you know, I found some air in Flanoir." Lloyd boasted.

"Shh!"

"Sorry…" he mumbled.

Raine kicked Lloyd overboard in a sarcastic fashion. "Oops." Lloyd went hurdling into the freezing cold water. He frantically climbed back into the washtub as fast as he had fallen out.

"C-Cold, very cold." Lloyd mumbled over and over as he shivered on the tub floor.

Raine just stared down at Lloyd for a few moments. Then she looked out across the ocean to see if anyone or, more importantly, Zelos was nearby. All clear! It seems as if Raine's maternal instincts were suddenly revved up or whatever, because she immediately pulled Lloyd's shivering body into a tight hug.

"Aww, poor Lloyd." She exclaimed.

"P-Professor, are you feeling alright?" Lloyd asked, in between shivering.

"Whenever I'm out at sea, I feel... um... let's say, 'clingy'." Raine responded, with a freaky smile.

"Professor Sage, you're making me feel funny." Lloyd complained, struggling to break free of Raine's clutches.

Zelos gave Lloyd an odd glance from across the couch. "Well, she did. My pants felt weird when the Professor hugged me." Lloyd admitted.

Zelos just shook his head and laughed, then looked back to the movie.

"Shh, everything's alright." Raine said, shushing Lloyd.

"H-Hey, I'm not a little kid! I-I'm all grown up!" Lloyd said, protesting/whining.

"Be quiet or there'll be no PE for you." Raine said sternly.

Lloyd's whole school life revolved around PE, Art and Lunchtime. The thought of missing one of those subjects crushed him. He whined, on the verge of crying like a little kid, and gave in to Raine's mother-like wrath.

"I-I'll be good." Lloyd mumbled.

"If you're good, I'll teach you how to wrestle." Raine remarked.

Lloyd's eyes bugged out of his head. "O.O;;"

Regal quickly took out the Pellet to avoid scarring the children.

Genis quickly jumped up from the couch and pointed at Raine. "You taught him too! What the hell!" he yelled.

"Next Pellet! Next Pellet!" Regal shouted, in a panic.

Kratos just sighed and shook his head. "Please…"

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  


Meanwhile, the villains were back in that room with that one frikkin' light. At least they're installing some more now.

"Magnolia, Caviar, go ahead and spin the ladder." Forcystus demanded.

The other two Grand Cardinals grabbed unto the ladder and started running in a circle. Forcystus held the light bulb in place as it screwed in. "Ok, that's good! Now we have two lights!" He cheered.

Martel just sat off in the corner, watching her minion's stupidity. "Morons, they only need one person to hold the ladder." She grumbled. "Wait…"

_Ladder? Light bulb? Spinning? One? Person? I've got it!_

"ALL RIGHT, everyone pay attention! I have our next evil plan!"

Mithos paid no attention. "What is it then?" he asked, not looking up from his Gameboy Advance. (How'd that get in there?)

"No time to explain! QUICKLY NOW, TO THE FONZMOBILE!" Martel shouted with glee.

Batman style, the Fonz flies at your computer screen then flies backwards all the while saying, "Eyyy!"

The cast o' villains stood in front of a tiny car. I mean, it was pretty damn small.

"That's a niiiiiiiiice model." Rodyle commented.

Martel shook her head and laughed. "Who said it was a model?"

"This is the Fonzmobile? VeRMIn!" asked Magnius.

"Of course! Now get in." Martel ordered reassuringly.

"But I don't think…" began Kvar.

Martel bitch slapped Kvar and glared at him. "I SAID GET IN." she said with a satanic voice.

Somehow, someway, they got in….

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

Back with our ToS heroes, things had calmed down. Everyone was enjoying the Pellet movies and nothing was going wrong…until…

"Uh oh." Presea said. "This is the last Pellet. It doesn't have a name on it." She commented.

Zelos just shrugged, took the Pellet from Presea and looked at it. "How cares? Let's play it!" he exclaimed joyfully.

The red-haired chosen slam-dunked the Pellet into the projector and the movie started…with yet another preview.

"COMING THIS HOLIDAY SEASON!" shouted the voice. "HOW GENIS STOLE CHRISTMAS! STARRING GENIS AND MUCH BELOVED ITALIAN GENIS. AND A HEARTWARMING APPEARANCE BY FERRET GENIS."

Dull silence. "…"

"Oh…Holy Jesus Jinkies! No one was supposed to know about that!" Genis whined.

"Shh, the movie's starting!" Colette squealed.

"That One Week Where Lloyd and I Were Alone." Appeared on the screen.

Raine's mouth dropped open, no one noticed though.

"Who? Was it you Sheena?" Zelos asked with a smirk.

"No, I don't film things like that." Sheena admitted.

"Filmed by Raine Sage." Appeared onscreen.

The ToS heroes all turned to the guilty half elf. Except Lloyd, he just said, "I don't remember that."

"Must… destroy… evidence!" Raine shouted, leaping from the couch and attempting to destroyed the projector.

Kratos grabbed Raine by the arm to stop her rampage. "I wouldn't do that. I'll need to see this before I go lock myself in the bathroom." He said.

For some reason or another Raine stopped and sighed, sitting back down on the couch. What logic Kratos had behind his words, we may never know.

And so the movie started…

First to appear onscreen was Lloyd, still tied up. He was awake and such, as he sang to himself, "I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah. You're a Goofy Goober, yeah. We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah."

"Lloyd, remember what I said? You have to be good or no PE!" Raine shouted as she walked on screen. Only the lower half of her body could be seen. You could tell it was her, since her ass was so magnificent. Oh man, I wanna just grab it again and… Zelos, get outta here! Heh, sorry about that. Anyway…

Lloyd whined. "Sorry, Professor Sage," He mumbled.

Raine's horribly colored orange-brown jacket fell onto the ground. "The first step to wrestling, stay calm no matter what. It's alright to be caught up in the moment, just don't get carried away." She said.

Sheena tried to hold in her laughter. "Wow, Raine, you're a lot like Zelos." She said slyly.

"Quiet Squishy!" Raine yelled angrily before turning back to the movie.

"Professor, how can I wrestle if I'm tied up like this? Don't you need to be able to use your hands?" Lloyd asked as he shifted in his spot on the ground.

"You just watch and learn, Lloyd Irving. Now brace yourself." Raine said, standing in front of Lloyd, as she dropped her white undershirt on the ground.

"OKAY! Movie over!" Raine said, pulling the Pellet out of the projector.

"Aww, I wanted to see more!" Zelos complained.

Raine finally couldn't take it anymore and gave Zelos a swift kick in the…Ouch.

"I still don't get it!" Genis whined.

The Professor grabbed onto Lloyd's leash an pulled him along as she said, "And you never will! Come on, puppy."

The two left leaving everyone else to his or her own thoughts, well, almost everyone. Kratos slipped away into the bathroom, locking the door.

"I never knew my son was so lucky." He mumbled.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

**I just got one question to ask. What the hell is wrong with me? I think I'm a little desperate. R 'n' R Please. Thanks!**

**Author's Note: Okay listen up folks. I've got something else to say. I have another ToS fic up called "Lost Soul Complex". It's a very serious fic, aside from Zelos humor, and I need people to review it. If you all don't like serious fics then you don't have to read it. But if you wanna give it a go, you can find it in my profile. PLEASE REVIEW IT! I NEED TO KNOW IF PEOPLE LIKE IT OR NOT!**


	8. Can I Hide In Your Closet?

**Author's Note: OMG I'm so sorry! My Internet kicked my in the bad place and left. My updates are unfortunately scarce. This chapter has something to do with absolutely nothing in particular, I won't say anymore. Okay! Take it away Disclaimer!**

**Disclaimer: Angelglory does not own anything appearing in the chapter. He does own all of the appearing songs in this fic, though, and he owns a tendency to write too many stories at one time _and_ kill his computers. **

**Shut it! Now, time to reply to mah reviewahs:**

**luciado: Hey! I'll use that!**

**ryuu-nin: Yeah, I was saving up that kick. Mwahaha!**

**Avini: I actually _forgot_ about Yuan last chapter. (sweat drop)**

**Streek-has-returned471: Unfortunately, there're no ferrets.**

**Piro the Renegade writer: I will make the Zelos Movie!**

**Zelda's Fox 38: Dirk's a pimp for technology, man.**

**Jimbo Jones: Yes…**

**treekicker: I can imagine a lot of things.**

**animesage: Ack! No stealing Raine! (steals Raine back)**

**The Zelda Master: Yeah, I thought so too.**

**Ryu Warrior: Maybe they _are_ desperate…I dunno.**

**funkymoleperson: Huzzah! A fan!**

**DeadEdBoy: Thanks! And good luck with Snowbound, it's really funny.**

**psychobreadfish: Thank you for the compliment.**

**Shaman With Crystal Wings: It'll become clear if you think about it with a naughty mind…**

**SnowCrystal: I am! Believe it or not!**

**Bloody-Youkai: Thanks for being a fan!**

**DW-881: WOO! Go, Regal, Go!**

**darkangel: Undoing it!**

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

_**Chapter 8: Can I Hide In Your Closet? ((a.k.a. Break Time))**_

It was a 'Clean your room and I'll take you to Chuckie Cheese's' kinda day. The ToS heroes were now back at the Flanoir inn. Let's see what they're up too…

"Blasphemy."

"Cantaloupe!"

"Pompous Platypus!"

"Sharp-Nosed Spotted Jabora."

"…Pepto Bismal."

"(sigh)…Pistachio."

"AIR FORCE DOJO!"

"Poochie!"

"Tomfoolery."

"Lunch!" shouted Sheena.

"Hey! That's not a funny word, Sheena. Pompous Platypus is way funnier," Lloyd commented.

"No, stupid, lunch time!" Sheena corrected, waving a pot fulla noodles.

Kratos sighed again, contemplating why he even went along with the funny word festival. _Thank Goddess it's over._

And so the party ate lunch, I won't go into details, mostly 'cause it's nothing funny. Well, there was that joke Regal made about spoons…you wouldn't get it.

So anyway…

"What's on the agenda for today?" asked the red haired Chosen.

"Well, let's see," Raine said, pulling out a long list of things. "Washtub race, check, Affection testing, double check, snowball fight, check, sleep at an inn and hit ferrets, check and check, and watch family movies, check."

"So what's left to do then?" Yuan asked, as he appeared out of nowhere.

"Wait, where were _you_ last chapter?" Genis asked the renegade leader.

Yuan rubbed the back of his neck. "Well…"

FLASHBACK! 

Yuan is seen walking down the road, when all of a suddenly, an extremely tiny car runs over his foot.

"Ow! What the hell!" Yuan shouted, as he watched the tiny mobile drive away furiously. The Seraph, of course, gave chase. "Get back nya! No one runs over my foot and gets away in a Hot Wheels car!"

While this was happening, Yuan was continuously tripping over himself in a fit of rage.

END FLASHBACK! 

"So, yeah, I was chasing after that stupid car all last chapter," Yuan admitted.

"Anywaaaay…The next item on the list is?" Sheena asked, looking over to half-elf with the list.

"Ah yes," Raine said, scanning the list again. "It appears our next order of business is…pairings."

"Pair…rings? What's a pairing? Is it like a circle of pears?" Lloyd asked, completely clueless.

"Aww, that's boring! What's after that?" Genis whined/asked.

"Um…something about closets. I won't say anymore," Raine claimed, eyeing the list with a skeptical look on her face.

"I know! Let's combine those seven things to make ten big things!" Lloyd shouted as he tried to remember how to count.

"Well, we can't combine anything if we don't know what we're supposed to doing with these closets," Sheena remarked, as she looked over Raine's shoulder at the list. "I pick Lloyd!"

The summoner then immediately grabbed Lloyd by the hand and lunged into a closet, closing the door. Raine threw a fit of rage, dropkicking the door only to get her foot stuck in it.

"Damn it Squishy! You get out here right now!" demanded the enraged Professor.

Meanwhile, on the other side of door, Sheena was plotting deviously. With a sly grin on her face, she pulled off Raine's boot and sock.

"Whatthehellareyoudoing!" Raine shrieked.

"Maw ha ha ha ha! Just having some fun," replied the chuckling summoner, as she pulled a feather from Lloyd's hair. Yes, Lloyd's hair is made of feathers.

Raising the feather up, Sheena then began brushing it over Raine's exposed foot. Raine couldn't but giggle and squirm. God, that's so hot…

"Hey, AG, I need to talk to you," Zelos says as he appears next to me.

Yeah, wassup Zelos?

"Why do you do this to me?"

Dwha? What the crap are you talking about, man?

"You always make the girls do such great things…yet not to me, the Great and Beautiful Zelos!" shouted the Great and Annoying Zelos.

Zelos, buddy ole pal, I have nothing against you. I'm not restricting you from doing anything. You can do whatever, just know that your ass will get pwn'd afterwards. So get back in there and take it like a man. …_Whose about to get kicked in the head_…

"What was that last part?"

Oh nothing, now hurry and go! And with that Zelos returns to the fic, where Sheena is still tickling Raine. Zelos approached Raine with a smile on his face.

"Don't worry my Glamorous Beauty, I, the Great Zelos, will save you from your predicament," he said, laying his hands on the Professor's leg. (the one in the door) "You have such soft pants…" (famous last words, Zelos. R.I.P.)

"RAWR!" Raine bellowed, as she jumped and kicked Zelos in the face.

The narcissist went careening into a batch of pancakes. Eventually, Sheena got bored and let the Professor's foot loose, turning her attention to Lloyd.

"You're lucky I have to host Parent/Teacher Night in Iselia or else I'd break down this door, Squishy!" Raine hollered at the door.

"Crap, I forgot about that. I already know Lloyd's a failure at life, so do I _have_ to go?" Kratos asked.

"Of course you do. You're his father after all," Raine commented.

Kratos sighed, agitated, and looked to Yuan. "Yuan, keep and eye on Lloyd while I'm gone."

The blue haired Seraph tripped over himself again, "What! Why should I have to watch him? He's stupid!"

"And you trip over air…" Kratos retorted as he vanished.

Yuan kicked the floor in show of his disappointment, but just ended up tripping again.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

MEANWHILE, in the Fonzmobile, things 're boring. Well, except for the occasional…

"Pull!" yells Forcystus, his Megaman-cannon sticking out of the window.

Magnius then tosses a few circular disks out of the window…and Forcystus blasts them to bits.

"Woo! Yeah! That was awesome! VErMiN!" Magnius chortled.

Meanwhile, Kvar is whining like a little bitch in the back seat next to Pronyma. "My Stevie Nicks CDs! How could you do that!"

"Oh shut uuuuuuuuuuup, Caviar," creaked Rodyle, who was sitting on the other side of Pronyma.

"Myargh!" whined Kvar.

Pronyma rolled her heavy with make-up eyes and grumbled. "You're such a whiny little bitch, Caviar."

"Quit it! Motel, everyone's making fun of me!" Kvar whined again.

Martel looked into the rear-view mirror and barked, "Knock it off back there! I swear, I'll turn this car around and no one will get to ruin **any** ToS hero's fun!"

The car fell silent…well, mostly because everyone had just put in earplugs so they didn't have to listen to Mithos' Emo music that was now blaring through the car speakers.

"Mentos…" mumbled Martel.

"Yeah," replied the blonde.

Martel shot a glare at Mithos. "Be a dear and turn off the music…"

Mithos cocked and eyebrow and chuckled slightly. " 'Be a dear'? What the hell? I'm not that idiot, Lloyd, so don't talk to me like that," he retorted.

Martel grumbled at her Emo friend, "You're lucky I'm not sure if you're a guy or not, or else I'd kick you in the bad place."

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

Yuan sat on the floor, with an ear pressed up against the door. Zelos walked over to the Renegade leader after recovering from the batch of pancakes.

"Hey Yuan, what're you up to?" asked the redhead Chosen.

"Shh! I'm trying to eavesdrop on Lloyd and Sheena!" Yuan snapped.

Zelos cocked an eyebrow. "Do you actually think Sheena would do something? No way man, she's way too stubborn to do tha…"

"Ow, that hurts Lloyd." claimed Sheena's voice.

"Well, I'm sorry Sheena, I'm new at this," replied Lloyd.

Zelos immediately started crying. "Why is Lloyd always the lucky one? I'm so much more prettier than he is!"

"Cheer up, Zelos. Here, let me sing you a song!" Yuan exclaimed.

"We'll help too!" Regal remarked as he and Colette walked over.

Genis appeared as well. "I gotta see this…" he mumbled.

Yuan waved Regal and Colette into a huddle. After a half an hour of whispering, they emerged from the huddle and were ready to sing.

"You're gonna like this Zelos," Colette squealed.

Silence fell…annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd **GO!**

"YOU SUCK!" Yuan screamed, pointing at Genis.

_You suck at life! Don't deny that you suck! If I had to give you a grade, you'd get a zero 'cause you suck!_ Yelled the booming voice from the Boybandia chapter.

"I hate you!" Colette squealed. "Well, I hate a lot of people, but I hate you the most, ya little (censored)! You try not to suck, but that's impossible! You're to sucky not to suck!"

_You suck at life! Don't deny that you suck! If I had to give you a grade, you'd get a zero 'cause you suck!_

"Do not pass go! Do not collect two hundred Gald!" Regal joined in. "If I had an English Muffin for every time you suck'd at life, I could open an English Muffin pizza…country."

"Everything you say is wrong! Go practice some magic, Harry Potter," Yuan yelled/sang. "Go play in traffic and shut up and die! You suck too much to be alive!"

_You suck at life! Don't deny that you suck! If I had to give you a grade, you'd get a zero 'cause you suck!_

"I hate you!" Colette squealed. "Everyone hates you! You suck at life! You should hate yourself, because you suck!"

"Go jump in a blender, or in a oven, or just go to jail! They might appreciate you there!" Regal commented.

_**You suck at life! Don't deny that you suck! If I had to give you a grade, you'd get a zero 'cause you suck!**_

"**You fail at life!**" the trio yelled, concluding their song.

Dull silence…

"W-Why? Why would you say that?" Genis cried, before running away with a stream of tears following him.

Zelos smiled. "Hey, you were right, I feel much better now!" he claimed.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

"I'd like to start first be welcoming you all here," Raine proclaimed to all of the parents of the children of Iselia. "I'm glad you all could make it. Does anyone have any questions?"

"I have one," claimed one of the parents. "My son has been telling me that you hit your students, is that true?"

"…"

"Okay everyone, talk amongst yourselves," the Professor said quickly, clapping her hands together.

Kratos stood near the back of the room, next to the buffet, bored out of his skull. That's when he saw it, **PIE.** Sweet, sweet pie! What kind of pie? Who cares? It's pie!

Something deep within Kratos suddenly woke up after 4,000 years of slumber. _Pie, huh?_ Kratos thought dully. There was a pause. "I LOVE PIE!" he yelled out suddenly. Instead of going into an eating frenzy, Kratos picked up the pie and chucked it at the parent who was complaining earlier. "Heads up!"

But…it just happens to go a little of course. And headed right towards a certain half-elf Professor who has the greatest ass ever. Damn it, Zelos! Now you got me thinking it too. Well, wait, I have thought that before…just never said it out loud… Crap, still typing…

( … )

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

Let's check in on Lloyd and Sheena. Just what the hell are they doing in there anyway?

"Okay, Sheena, it's your turn!" Lloyd claimed.

The summoner thought for a second then snapped her fingers. "I got one!"

Sheena pushed her hair up, making it look like Botta's hairstyle. With that she cleared her throat and slapped on a British accent. "I'm Botta. I have a funny accent and was stupid enough get myself locked in a flooding room. I was just so damn lazy, that I couldn't take the time to open a door if my lifedepended on it… which it did," Sheena remarked.

Lloyd burst out laughing, and for some reason slammed his face into the wall as well.

"I wonder if Botta actually died…" Sheena said.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

Meanwhile, in the Remote Island Ranch…

"It really sucks that we're stuck in here. We were supposed to die," grumbled Botta.

"Who knew the water would stop rising," one Renegade said.

A second Renegade looked down at the now underwater exit. "Maybe we could swim out. The next room over is dry."

"Meh," Botta began, waving his hand lazily, "Too much effort, Lenny, don't bother."

Lenny sighed in disappointment, "Man, and to think I had a girl waiting for me back home."

The other Renegade patted Lenny on the shoulder. "Hey, cheer up, she might still like you after all this time."

"Yeah, maybe you're right. Thanks, Nickjoebobwitz," Lenny replied with a big smile.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

Lloyd and Sheena emerged from the closet. Zelos immediately started 20 Questions.

"Just what the hell were you doing in there? Huh? HUH! **HUH!**" yelled the redhead. (4)

Lloyd grinned a big dumb ass grin. "We were doing impressions! It as fun!"

"You were doing it! How could you, Sheena! And not to me!" Zelos screamed. (7)

"No, you idiot! Impressions! Is there a brain in that thick skull of yours, Zelos?" (8)

"Wait, you weren't…? But, I heard it. Right, Yuan?" The Chosen turned to the Renegade leader. (10)

"I didn't hear anything like that. You're really sick, you know that, Zelos?" Yuan remarked. (11)

"What? Then? How? Why? Where? Who? When?" Zelos mumbled, looking like he was about to cry again. (18)

"Do you need another song, Zelos?" Colette squealed/asked. (19)

Regal looked around. "Unfortunately, Genis isn't here. Would you like an English Muffin?" (20!)

And with that, 20 Questions was complete. And there was much rejoicing…

"Yay!" everyone rejoiced.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

Presea sat off in a dark corner, staring at her plushy replica of Ferret Genis and crying to herself.

"I miss you so much! Why did you have to turn into naïve Normal Genis?" she asked the plushy.

The ax-wielder hugged the stuffed ferret. "Don't worry, I'll return you to your true self, my cute little ferret ball of love!"

(Did I mention Presea's odd obsession with ferrets? …Now you know.)

"Eyyy!" went the Fonz, as he appeared out of nowhere.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

**Once again, sorry for the EXTREMELY long gap. God hates me, that's all. R 'n' R Please. Thanks!**

**Side Note: Starting in the reviews for this chapter, The Suggestion Box! If you have any suggestions, ideas, or…uh…what was that last one? Oh Yeah! Or if you want a character of yours to make a brief cameo, (brief as in one chapter…maybe two), then just say so in your review!**

**I figured I'd have to do something like this to make up for the lack 'o' updates!**

**Side Note 2: Before I forget, whoever can figure out who's saying what funny word at the start of the chapter first gets a prize! A REAL PRIZE! The lucky winner gets to have a character of theirs appear NEXT CHAPTER! OMGBBQ! Don't worry, you don't have to get all of them right. But it wouldn't hurt your odds!**


End file.
